Bully 4u

A not for profit Anti-Bullying service for Irish Schools

Mum punched school bully in violent attack [Swindon Advertiser, by Sue Smith, 25/10/2017]

A FURIOUS parent who repeatedly punched a 13-year-old schoolgirl in the face has been spared jail.

The 38-year-old attacked the child in retaliation for bullying her daughter after tensions reached boiling point at the school gates, the court heard.

Both girls were students at a secondary school in Swindon and had been placed in a secure facility for disruptive pupils set aside from the main building.

The mother also punched the school manager in the hand numerous times as he tried to pull her away from the child.

The two girls were supposed to leave school at different times to avoid bumping into each other at the gates.

But the mother and brother of the girl ran into the alleged bully as she left and began shouting abuse at her on June 13 this year.

The parent, who admitted two counts of assault, appeared at Swindon Magistrates Court for sentencing.

Prosecutor Pauline Lambert said: “Earlier that day there had been an incident between the victim and the family’s daughter.

“The victim goes past a vehicle which has the defendant and her son inside.

“The son gets out and says ‘don’t f*** with my sister!’ and pushed her back and shoved her.

“The defendant then got out and punched her several times to the head and face.

“The school manager tried to free the girl from the defendant’s grip and gets punched several times to his hand.”

The mother’s 18-year-old son was also charged with assault and fined £120 on October 4 for pushing the pupil during the scuffle.

The victim was taken to hospital but received no treatment for minor injuries consistent with being punched in the head.

A probation officer who spoke to the mother said the girls had been friends in primary school but had been at loggerheads since starting secondary school.

The victim allegedly followed, bullied and threatened the defendant’s daughter, and said “we’re going to get you” on the day of the attack.

Magistrate Christine Smith gave the mother two six-month community orders to run consecutively.

She must complete 130 hours of unpaid work and pay costs of £245.

Teens are sexting with a sneaky secret language, and parents have no idea [ The Herald Times, by Amy Iverson, 24/10/2017]

Thirty-nine percent of teenagers have sent or posted sexually suggestive messages, according to a survey done by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. We’re talking about texts, emails and social media that may or may not include videos and pictures. Continue reading Teens are sexting with a sneaky secret language, and parents have no idea [ The Herald Times, by Amy Iverson, 24/10/2017]

Blocking cyberbullying on Instagram [The Richmond Register, by Dan Florell, 17/10/2017]

The picture of the teenager was a screenshot of him right before he was going to sneeze. There was also a caption below that said, “He can’t stand his own smell #stinky”. One of the teenager’s friends had just shown him the Instagram post and mentioned how it had gone around the school. Now all of those students holding their noses when they passed him in the hallway made sense. The teenager was mortified. Continue reading Blocking cyberbullying on Instagram [The Richmond Register, by Dan Florell, 17/10/2017]

‘No One Likes You’: And the Other Hurtful Ways Kids Bully One Another Online [ Securingtomorrow, by Toni Birdsong, 17/11/2017]

One of the most wounding things a young person can hear is “No one likes you.” Most likely because that one phrase sums up our deepest fears: The fear of rejection and the fear that somehow we may not ever measure up.And sadly, kids — bullying kids — use this phrase not always understanding it’s full weight along with other callous phrases such as:

“Why are you here?”

“Go kill yourself.”

“Why do people even like you?”

“You’re so annoying.”

“You gonna cry?”

“You’re ugly/stupid/fat.”

“Chill out. It’s just a joke!”

Cyberbullying is the intentional and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones, and other electronic devices — which means that it also comes with its own native language. And while we often associate it with youth, we can’t ever forget that every day — even all day — adults can be the worst offenders in the digital space.

Veiled VernacularNational Bullying Prevention Month

Often, coded messages may be a parent’s first clue their child is being bullied (or bullying) online. Here are just a few texting terms related to bullying to look out for in your child’s digital circles:

Dirl: Die in real life

Gcad: Get cancer and die.

Foad: F*** off and die.

Fugly: F****** ugly.

IHML: I hate my life.

KMS: Kill myself.

KYS: Kill yourself.”

182: I hate you

4Q: F*** You

GCAD: Get cancer and die

FINE: F***ed up, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional

FUB: Fat ugly b**tard

IWTKM: I want to kill myself

JLMA: Just leave me alone

Cyberbullying looks, sounds, and affects differently than traditional bullying simply because of the amplification factor of technology.

Cyberbullying Terminology

  • Dissing: Sending or posting cruel gossip or rumors about a person (target) to damage his or her reputation or friendships.
  • Target: The person who is on the receiving end of online social cruelty.
  • Bash Board: An online bulletin board on which individuals can post anything they want. Frequently, posts are malicious, hateful statements directed against an individual.National Bullying Prevention Month
  • Exclusion: Deliberately excluding someone from an online chat group, friend group, or event.
  • FlamingSending angry, rude, or obscene messages directed at a person or persons privately or an online group. A flame war erupts when flames are exchanged between individuals (or groups) repeatedly.
  • Impersonation: Breaking into someone’s account, posing as that person and sending messages to make the person look bad or damage that person’s reputation.
  • Outing: Sharing someone’s secrets or embarrassing information online.
  • Harassment: Repeatedly sending offensive, rude and wounding messages.
  • Cyberstalking: Repeatedly sending messages that include threats of harm or are highly intimidating. Cyberstalking also includes engaging in other online activities that make a person afraid for his or her safety.
  • Trolling: Intentionally posting confrontational comments about sensitive subjects to create conflict and bait others into an online argument.

While we can’t singlehandedly shift an entire digital culture, we can educate ourselves and our kids about the power of words, the direct and indirect ways people bully, and how to respond if in a hostile or intimidating environment be it online or in other areas of daily life.

Family Talking Points

Tell someone. Encourage your child to come to you (or another trusted adult) at the first sign of bullying or conflict online. Monitor his or her online circles and take the time to evaluate the tone of conversations.

Sometimes it’s a friend. Though rarely discussed, sometimes the person bullying your child may be a friend. Look for signs of intimidation, jealousy, insincerity, and dishonesty — the bully could be closer than you think.

Offer perspective. The emotional roots of bullying run deep. Kids bully for some reasons. Often, bullies hurt others because they’ve been hurt. They lack compassion, empathy, and kindness because they haven’t been shown that in their home environment. While this is no excuse, talking about this with your kids can help them not take the words of a bully to heart.National Bullying Prevention Month

Words = power. Stress the consequence of hurtful words when they are shared and multiplied online. Be candid about the effects cyberbullying can have on another person such as depression, anxiety, and self-harm. Define and discuss kindness, empathy, and compassion and model it in your relationships.

Don’t respond. In the cyber arena, it’s wise not to respond to harassing, negative, or intimidating comments. The best thing to do (as hard as it is to refrain from engaging) is to print out the comments before you delete them and report the abuse. Also, save all evidence. If someone is bullying your child, print copies of messages and websites. Use the save feature on instant messages and take screenshots of posts or comments on social networks. Depending on the severity of the situation, report the abuse to the online platform, to school and/or the Internet Crimes Department of your local law enforcement agency.

Technology has elevated bullying to terrifying levels for kids. Be aware of your child’s demeanor by connecting and talking consistently. If your child’s schoolwork slips, he or she loses interest in friendships, or becomes anxious or depressed — it could be a symptom of being bullied. Follow your instincts, monitor devices, and err on the side of being intrusive if you suspect your child is suffering in silence.