Toni Court, 14, of Norwich, said she had been picked on since she STARTED at CNS as a year seven pupil.

She had only known one other person from St Michael’s Junior School in Bowthorpe when she joined, and the majority of other pupils had been to different junior schools and already had their own friendship groups. She said that one cruel remark began three years of bullying.

“I made a couple of friends but then one boy made fun of me and everyone caught on with it,” she said. “It was like that ever since.”

She quietly put up with it, but then halfway through year seven decided to take action.

She found that reporting problems to teachers made the bullying stop for a few days and then it would START again.

So eventually she got the courage to stand up to them. The opportunity came in a rhetoric COMPETITION, when she gave a speech to more than 100 people – including her bullies – to explain the misery that bullying can cause.

“The first lesson of the day I walked in and one of the girls walked in and said ‘I’m really looking forward to your speech. Can’t wait to have everyone laugh at you’,” she said.

When she finished she said the boy who STARTED the bullying was smirking, but she got a round of applause.

Toni, who wants to train as an engineer, is urging people to think about the consequences of bullying.

“You see what it does to people and you wouldn’t want it done to you,” she said. “If something’s happening you’ve got to tell someone.”

Mum, Carol Barnes, said: “It took a long time for her to be able to stand up and do that.

“I think it has been a turning point for her. I am immensely proud of her and what she has had the courage to do.”

• TONI’S SPEECH ABOUT THE IMPACT OF BULLYING

Bullying is all around us, it is hard to get away from.

Bullying lowers self-esteem so much, some people choose to ignore it.

Also, in some cases the bullied person chooses to be friends with the bullies because they say it is a joke, consequently they think it’s okay, that’s how it keeps going because the bullies have found that person’s weak spot.

Ways to stop bullying:

Don’t join in or watch bullying. Bullies love an audience. Walk away, and see if you can get others to leave too.

Of course, don’t just abandon someone who is in real danger. Stop any rumours. If someone tells you gossip, don’t pass it on to others. You wouldn’t want someone spreading rumours about you!

Stand up for the person. If it feels safe, stand up for the person being bullied. Bullies often care a lot about being popular and powerful. If you make bullying seem uncool, the bully may stop.

If you see someone being bullied and you don’t do anything to help them then it will just continue and may get worse.

People who are being bullied can feel distressed and it can have a serious impact on their life and health. In very serious cases bullying can lead to self harming, or even suicidal thoughts. Often other people at school don’t realise the effect bullying has when it goes on day in day out.

I put my hands up, I have been and still am being bullied. I don’t really know why I was bullied, just look at me. Me being bullied made me the person that I am today. Now I think I am worthless. I only think I am worthless because of what all those people said and are still saying about me and to me. But, luckily I have people around me who support me and don’t want to see me upset or distressed, because they care about my wellbeing, however, some people don’t see that.

Adults can do things to get the bullying stopped. Even if you think you’ve solved the problem on your own, tell an adult anyway, in case it happens again.

An adult you can trust might be a teacher, school principal, parent, someone from your family, or a friend’s parent.The only way bullying is going to stop, is if you help stop it, because if you don’t then it will carry on and hurt more people.

A new UNIVERSITY of Michigan study shows that for girls, however, receiving a mother’s support and warmth significantly reduced the harmful effects of being victimized by peers.

For boys, though, early negative peer experiences led to a significant increase in antisocial outcomes, regardless of their mothers’ love.

The researchers evaluated more than 1,000 children over 8 years of age and looked at which family and parental factors lessened or intensified the impact of negative peer relationships.

“Children who develop hostile and distrustful relationships with their parents due to low parental warmth and responsiveness may adopt similar patterns of negative expectations when engaging with peers, as a result of their greater fear and anxiety,” said Grace Yang, Ph.D., a U-M research fellow and the study’s lead author.

Yang collaborated with Dr. Vonnie McLoyd, the Ewart A. C. Thomas Collegiate Professor of Psychology.

For the study, participants answered questions about whether they had been bullied in school or in the neighborhood during the previous month. They rated if someone “picked on me or said mean things to me,” “hit me” or “purposely left me out of my friends’ ACTIVITIES.” About 68 percent of the kids reported being a target.

During the home visit, researchers measured the mother’s warmth in how she talked to her child, showed pride or pleasure toward him or her, and if she was cold, harsh or hostile to the child. Family conflict, such as physical and verbal aggression, was also factored.

Male victims of bullying had higher levels of antisocial behavior five years after the initial interview despite family or parenting factors. How girls responded to bullying, however, was related to the parent and family dynamics.

Researchers suggest that gender differences may be due to how boys and girls behave with peers and where they spend their time. If boys have larger friendship and peer networks than girls, the peers may exert a greater influence in boys’ emotional lives. As a result, boys’ response to bullying would depend less on family interaction patterns and more on peer interactions, Yang said.

Mothers also reported less communication with sons than daughters. “This difference probably reflects a lesser tendency for sons, compared with daughters, to initiate discussions with their mothers,” McLoyd said.

Since boys communicate less with their moms, they tend to receive less maternal support and intervention that would otherwise help decrease the negative effects of bullying.

The researchers said future studies will need to factor in the fathers’ and siblings’ influences on bullying.

The study is published in the journal Social Development.

The documentary, From the Quadrangle, asks experts to dig deep into the roots of bullying in schools and examine long-term strategies to help address the issue.

UQ’s Associate Professor Murray Phillips and Dr Louise McCuaig, from the UQ School of Human Movement and Nutrition Sciences, appear in the film, alongside some of Australia’s most passionate anti-bullying advocates.

Associate Professor Phillips said school sport and physical activity was one of the most common platforms for bullying, because physical appearance and abilities are laid bare.

“When school students get changed into their gym clothes or swimming costume, the body’s physical appearance is exposed for all to see,” he said.

“Then, during sport and physical activity, its physical abilities are visually on show.”

“If young people are not accepting of different body shapes and ability levels in sport and physical activity, it sets up an environment where bullying flourishes.”

Research has shown that negative peer interactions during sport and physical activities include being teased about weight, being made fun of when exercising, having peers use physical domination, and receiving negative reactions when chosen for a team.

Associate Professor Phillips said such negative interactions could have long-term effects such as poor self-esteem and confidence, which can then contribute to withdrawal from sport and physical activity.

Dr McCuaig, convenor of the UQ Health, Sport and Physical Teacher Education Program, said future HPE teachers needed to learn how to connect students of all backgrounds, abilities and sizes with sport and physical activity.

“Teachers need to know how to build a culture of acceptance, respect and fairness so all students can enjoy the experience,” she said.

Dr McCuaig said the UQ HPE teacher education degree included experiences to involve future teachers in activities that took them out of their comfort zone.

“The purpose is to make them feel a sense of exposure and uncertainty, teaching them to empathise with their students,” she said.

“Through these small provocations, future teachers are encouraged to make an effort to get to know each and every student, and find ways to help them connect with sport and physical activity.”

The documentary has aired on Channel ONE HD and can be viewed online.It explores a range of celebrities’ personal experiences of bullying at school including Missy Higgins, Adam Goodes, Tim Ferguson, Kate Miller-Heidke, Hazem El Masri, Penny Wong, Eddie Perfect, Megan Washington, Charlie Pickering, Wendy Harmer, Judith Lucy and Benjamin Law.

The photos and video were later posted on a social media site.

The offending images were all removed within 24 hours of being posted.

Gardai are now investigating all circumstances of the incident which is alleged to have occurred in the south Cork area.

However, no formal complaint has yet been made.

The 15-year-old boy was singled out by a group of youths last week.

Karen O’Mahony of the Cork-based Masquerade Ball support group for special needs children, said people are in disbelief over the appalling incident.

The family of the boy involved do not want to be identified though they are said to be “totally distraught” by what happened.

They only discovered what had happened when a youngster who lives nearby called to their door to alert them.

“It was very, very distressing. In fact, I am still upset simply by the details of what happened,” Karen said.

“This was a terrible thing for any child to be subjected to let alone a young boy with special needs.”

An appeal for information on Cork radio station, 96FM, generated an overwhelming response.

It is now believed that a total of five youths, aged between 14 and 16 years, were involved.

A survey conducted by the National ASSOCIATION of Principals and Deputy Principals published recently found that parents are getting worse rather than better when it comes to monitoring children’s online behaviour.

Some 46% of parents said they check their children’s online presence once a week. This was down from 54% a year ago. Worryingly, a full 30% of parents surveyed said they check their child’s online activity infrequently or never.

As parents we have a responsibility to educate ourselves about our children’s online presence. This takes time and commitment but it is worth doing. You wouldn’t allow your child to go to an unsupervised disco or house party. Think of your child’s online presence in similar terms.

Educate yourself, as well as your child.

The rules are simple. Educate yourself to the point where you can supervise your child’s online activity, but involve your child in your decisions and discussions about online activity at home. If your child sees that you are open and have an understanding about the issues it is possible that they will come to you if there is a problem.

We need to see cyberbullying as an extension of bullying. If we can get past the word cyber we may find it easier to know what to do. In days gone by, parents could monitor their children’s interactions. They knew who the friends were and any callers to the house had to go through whoever answered the phone.

The advent of the mobile phone, but particularly the smart phone, has complicated matters. In truth though, the same principles APPLY. Parents need to know what their children are up to. They need to monitor online activity and talk to their children.

Dealing with cyberbullying is more complicated but if you think about what you would tolerate in the real world, things can become clearer.

1. Talk about it

Talk to your children about cyberbullying. Make sure they know what it is. This is important so that they can identify it if it happens to them, but also so that they don’t bully others.

It’s also important to talk to them about the issues and problems posed by online anonymity.

2. Educate yourself

Ask your teenagers and children to show you how to play games online. Ask them to help you with social media. If they get to spend time online with you, you will get to know how things work but it will also open a conversation between you and your children.

3. Collaborate on guidelines

Don’t impose guidelines on internet use in the home. Talk to your children about what guidelines you should all adhere to and draw them up together.

4. Get on social media

Join the sites that your sons and daughters are using. Make sure that they friend you and keep an eye on their activity. Be upfront about the fact that you are doing this. Make sure you know their passwords. This is easier if you are active when your child begins their online activity.

5. Make sure they know what’s safe and what’s not

Children should know never to share their passwords with anyone apart from you as their parent or guardian.

They must never post personal information.

They must never post or share inappropriate photos.

Encourage them not to be friends online with people they don’t know in the real world.

6. Make sure your own internet infrastructure is safe

INSTALL child protection filters and anti-virus software on internet connected devices that are in your home or belong to your children.

7. Limit time spent online

There’s more to life than what’s online. The greater the online presence, the greater the effect of the cyberbully. Try and impose limits on the time your child spends online

8. Tell your children what to do if they are on the receiving end of abuse

They should know:

Never to reply to abusive comments
• To save the abusive comment or image via the print screen function
• To REPORT any online abuse to a responsible adult

  9. Teach them about respect

  Rules around respecting others in the real world, APPLY to the online world. If you wouldn’t say something to someone’s face, don’t say it to their online profile.

  10.   Make sure your children have a healthy cynicism about online activity

  Try to encourage critical thinking. Your children should know not to take things online at face value.

  Brendan Smith is Education and Public Engagement Officer with the Insight Centre for Data Analytics. He delivers workshops and talks on internet safety among many other things to parents, teachers and students in primary and post primary schools.

One striking message that came through loud and clear during the Beyond the Hurt presentations made by Saskatchewan Roughriders Neal Hughes and Dan Clark during their visits to northern SK schools was their message about the bully.

It is a label and a hurtful one.

“We don’t want to label anyone,” Hughes told the students at Stony Rapids.

“We don’t want to label people a bully. They are showing bullying behavior, but that can change.”

Richard Kies with the Red Cross noted the focus on showing respect and understanding for the bully and their situation has grown as the program has evolved over the years.

“A lot of bullies have been bullied themselves,” Kies said. “There is a lot of labeling of bullies and we try to avoid the labels.”

Hughes himself is a walking testament to the potential that someone bullying can change their behaviour. He readily admits he was a bully at times as a kid, as well as being bullied for a period.

“I’ve been a target, I have done some bullying and I have been that person who just stood by,” Hughes said after the presentations were over.

Now he is a two-time Grey Cup champion with his hometown CFL football team who got a teaching degree at the University of Regina in 2007,

“It was a great year for me. I had a daughter, got a degree, won a Grey Cup and proposed to my wife.”

He said being a part of the program is important, in both giving back to communities that support the Riders, but also making a difference in kids’ lives.

“Bullying will always be there, but this is helping give kids the tools I didn’t have when I was younger. This helps change the culture around bullying.

For Clark, the 300-pound+ lineman who GETS PAID TO pound people into dust on the football field, his experience with bullying was being the victim, as he shared with disbelieving students.

“From Grades 4 to 8 I was bullied really bad because I was always the bigger kid,” Clark said.He said while his dad always encouraged him to fight back with his fists, his mom suggested the softer touch, which he chose.

“It wasn’t until I went to high school and started playing football that I learned there wasn’t something wrong with me, but with the person bullying me.”

For Clark, the highlight of the trip was “seeing all the smiles, and how different it is up here.”

“We’re all people. We may come from different cultures, different religions, different backgrounds, but we all need to be open-minded to each other,” he said. “Everyone deals with bullying.”

Both players offered praise to the Red Cross for their work on the program and to Cameco for teaming up to help bring them up north.