About 22% of students ages 12 to 18 reported they were bullied at school during the school year in 2013. That’s down from a range of 28% to 32% of students who reported being bullied at school in previous surveys dating back to 2005, according to data from the Education Department’s National Center for Education Statistics.

While any decline is certainly welcome news for students, parents, educators and administrators, the 22% figure still means that more than 2 of every 10 students are being bullied at school. And those numbers don’t include kids who don’t report the bullying, or students who are being bullied away from school grounds.

What can we do to bring those numbers to zero, or as close to zero as we can get?

That’s the thinking behind an ambitious undertaking by two prominent researchers on bullying. Inspired by the White House Conference on Bullying in 2011, the researchers set out to analyze four decades of data on bullying to figure out what we know and how that knowledge can be used to implement programs to prevent bullying and keep our kids safe.

“We felt like within the bullying space there were a lot of myths and misconceptions, and things that we know as researchers that somehow seemed to get lost in translation,” said Susan Swearer, co-author of the comprehensive review of bullying research (PDF), which was published in a special issue of American Psychologist, the official journal of the American Psychological Association.

Among those myths: Bullies must come from horrible homes (not true), bullies are unpopular and anti-social (not always the case), and bullying is only an issue between one perpetrator and one victim (not usually true), said Swearer, who is co-director of the Bullying Research Network and professor of school psychology at the University of Nebraska.

So CNN wanted to glean what we actually know about bullying — its causes and effects — from actual research, not from conventional wisdom, social media ramblings or popular culture.

Here are 10 things we know based on 40 years of research, according to Swearer and co-author Shelley Hymel, professor of human development, learning and culture at the University of British Columbia.

1. Bullying can impact mental health

Involvement in bullying — whether as a victim, a perpetrator or even a bystander — can lead to depression, anxiety and feelings of hopelessness, said Swearer, pointing to studies that have been done in the United States and other countries.

In fact, a recent study reported by CNN found that adolescents who are bullied by their peers face worse mental health effects into adulthood than children who are maltreated by adults.

Bystanders to bullying can also be affected, said Swearer. They may not want to go to school because they feel unsafe and worry they could be the next target. They may also suffer feelings of hopelessness, thinking there’s nothing they can do about the bullying, she said.

2. A kid can bully and be a victim, too

Swearer said based on more recent research, we also know that kids can function in multiple roles.

“They can bully somebody in one setting and they can be bullied in another setting, and so these aren’t just fixed separate roles.”

Knowing kids can occupy both these bully and victim roles is critical to intervention, she said.

“I will never forget one kid (who) said to me, ‘I got in trouble for bullying and I realize that was wrong, but I feel angry that the school doesn’t realize that I’m being bullied, too,’ ” said Swearer.

3. The influence of peers

It’s extremely rare to have bullying unfold where you just have “this horrible bully and the completely victimized kid and nobody else is around,” said Swearer.

Usually, it occurs in the presence of peers, who play a critical role in maintaining or snuffing out the bullying behaviors.

“Peers really influence the climate and the ability of bullying to kind of take place,” she said. “So within the peer culture is this seen as something that this is just what people do?’ “

4. Bullies can be the popular kids

There are “highly socially skilled kids” who engage in bullying behaviors, said Swearer.

“In some sense, it kind of makes sense to think about if you’re going to bully somebody and get away with it, you’ve got to be pretty socially savvy to figure out, ‘OK, who can I pick on and not get caught?’ “

And if bystander kids see that bullying is a way to win popularity and achieve a high social status among their peers, they may do it themselves, she said.

5. Bullying can occur in real and virtual space simultaneously

There have always been different forms of bullying — verbal, relational and physical — but in the Internet age, we can now add the digital world to the mix.

What we know from all the research is that these different forms of bullying tend to “co-occur,” said Swearer.

A bully’s mindset might be, ” ‘I’m going to physically bully somebody while I’m going to verbally bully them as well and then maybe I’ll take a picture of it and send it around on my SnapChat,’ ” she said.

6. Both boys and girls bully

Many people might think that boys bully more than girls, but based on the research, there are not a lot of gender differences, said Swearer.

Some research has shown that boys engage in more physical bullying than girls, she said, but other studies suggest that girls engage in more verbal, relational and cyberbullying than boys.

More research is needed, said Swearer. “We still have more to do in terms of some of the precision with which we look at these different forms and then look across gender and then age as well.”

7. Bullying increases during transition times

Most of the research shows that middle school tends to be “peak years” for bullying, although it can occur as young as in preschool and later into adulthood.

“There are people who are seeing bullying in retirement communities, so it’s not necessarily something that someone could ‘outgrow,’ ” Swearer said.

Bullying is particularly “salient” during transition times for kids, such as graduating from elementary to middle school or again on to high school — times when kids are actively “negotiating” new peer groups and figuring out where they fit in.

8. Many kids don’t tell on bullies

While schools tout their zero-tolerance polices when it comes to bullying and encourage students to report it, many kids won’t do so.

“They worry that it’s not going to … (change) anything,” said Swearer. “And then they worry, ‘Is there going to be retaliation?’ And so they just don’t really have the confidence that the school is going to handle it.”

Swearer also said there are plenty of anecdotal examples where a student who reported being bullied and the alleged bully both end up getting punishments. “So I think that communicates, ‘Well, that wasn’t that effective.’ “

9. Serial bullies responsible for most of the bullying

In any given school, let’s say 40 kids say they have been victimized by a bully. Rarely would there be a case where the school has 40 different bullies on its hands.

“It’s typically a pretty small handful of the kids who are continually perpetrating bullying behavior,” said Swearer. So-called “serial bullies” accounted for nearly 70% of victim reports, according to some research.

“If we can … take those handful of kids and actually really treat them, then if they in turn learn more positive ways of interacting and … we wouldn’t have the bullying.”

10. There’s no profile of a bully

Based on four decades of research, we also know that there is not a “consistent kind of profile” of a child who might be bullying others, said Swearer.

There are multiple individual and family characteristics that could play a role, from impulsivity to low self-esteem to troubles at home, she said. But other influences — such as a student’s peer group — could be a factor as well. 

Swearer’s research includes working with kids who bully others to figure out why they do.

When people hear what she does, often someone will say, “Well, what are they like?” she said.

“And I’m like, they’re a kid … They’re not like some scary kid. It’s just a kid. So I think that that’s kind of a myth too. This idea that somehow a kid who bullies is the scary kid. More often than not, they’re just a kid and they’ve made some poor choices.”

What’s needed to stop bullying?

After analyzing 40 years of research, Swearer says she’s more convinced than ever of the need for mental-health services, such as counseling, at schools.

“I really see that that is the missing piece,” she said. “So many families and kids … can’t access mental health treatments and so they either don’t know where to go or they don’t have the means. They don’t have the transportation.

“And so to me, one of the solutions is bolstering school-based mental health resources. I think that that’s one of the keys to reducing bullying among kids.”

On school visits and author interviews, the question I get asked most is “what inspired you to write Seven Days”. And I always answer in the same way: “because of what I witnessed in schools. Because I saw what it was like for both the bully and the victim and I needed to tell their stories”.

I often use the example of a year nine student who I worked with. I had been trying to speak with her for weeks and seemed to be getting further away from an answer. Incidents had been happening at school that she had either incited or inflamed. It started with nasty comments said to a small number of girls, then there was the freezing out from groups and conversations. Finally, vicious rumours had been spread, escalating rapidly to stuff being posted on Snapchat and Facebook. Parents were involved. It was getting pretty nasty.

“It’s just banter,” she said, stony faced – daring me to challenge her.

Banter. A word so many of you will be familiar with. A word that still makes my stomach twist whenever I hear it. It’s like kicking someone hard in the groin and then claiming to be “messing around” with them. I got irritated. This girl was clever. She knew better than this.

I talked to her about the consequences of her actions, of the emotional damage bullying can cause, the fact that “banter” was not an excuse for ongoing verbal assaults and veiled threats. I threw everything at her, but she resisted me. She looked uninterested, bored. She saw her targets as weak and “pathetic” for grassing her up. She saw herself as the wronged person, as someone who just “said it as it was”. As far as she was concerned, her opinion mattered and she didn’t seem to care whether her attacks were justified or fair. I was hitting every brick wall she put up for me.

Then one day she started talking. Not about the bullying, but about other stuff in her life. She seemed more tired, more vulnerable somehow. She asked me how my poorly son was. She opened up a little about her own siblings. As she talked, it was like a valve opening – she told me about her sickly mum, her absent dad, her brother who could be violent sometimes.

I pictured her like a coke can that had been shaken so many times, she was bound to burst open. Anger and frustration has to go somewhere. Often we bottle it up, allowing the negativity to seep further inside us, becoming quieter, more fearful. But some of us get angry – we attack, we hurt, we strike out. I could see that my year nine girl was just as much a victim as those that she had been taunting. Having no way to cope with the sheer amount of rubbish going on her own life, she had chosen to target someone else. It was a good distraction technique. It stopped her focusing on her own problems for a while. It made her feel better, more in control, albeit if it was for only short period

In bullying cases, there are no clear cut answers. Bullies don’t bully because they are nasty, unfeeling humans; just as their targets are not pathetic, soft-centred cowards. We still need to break down the stigma that this word carries and address openly why someone would chose to target another.

I wrote Seven Days with this in mind, exploring some of the reasons why a teenager might chose to bully and detailing some of the pressures she was under.

This leads to the second most common question I get asked on visits or interviews, which is “were you ever bullied?”

And the answer is yes, I was. I was bullied quite badly and was too fearful to report it, too ashamed to speak about my experiences. Instead I found solace in books such as Carrie by Stephen King, Blubber by Judy Blume and William Golding’s The Lord of the Flies – they helped me escape into another “victim’s world”, to be with someone who understood what I was going through. Books helped me feel less isolated, less victimised. In these books, I was moved by the tortured and humiliated victims, by their emotional journeys.

 

In writing Seven Days I wanted to continue this important journey, the exploration of bullying and the impact it has on its target, especially the emotional pain. But I also wanted to question what the bully might be going through, to understand their worlds too, for this is an area that perhaps hasn’t been explored as much.

Bullying is never pleasant. It’s always harmful and very often there is a forgotten victim – the bully themselves.

In 2014, a total of 262 girls and boys were admitted to Priory Group centres
The organisation is the country’s largest for mental health hospitals

Sexting and online bullying are fuelling a surge of anxiety disorders in teenagers, experts warn.

The problem is particularly severe for girls who fall victim to cruel remarks about their appearance and weight.

Figures from the Priory Group, the country’s largest organisation for mental health hospitals and clinics, show admissions for anxiety in teenagers has risen by 50 per cent in only four years.

In 2014 a total of 262 girls and boys aged 12 to 17 were admitted to one of its centres with severe depression or anxiety, up from 178 in 2010.

But this is almost certainly an underestimate because there are hundreds of others on waiting lists who have been referred by GPs but not yet seen by a specialist.

Separate figures from the Office for National Statistics show that a fifth of teenagers and young adults suffered some degree of depression and anxiety last year, a higher proportion than in other generations.

Psychiatrists blame sexting, in which youngsters text explicit photos of themselves to friends who then comment. They say some see it as a ‘form of courtship’ and the chance to be noticed by the opposite sex.

But the photos can provoke extremely unkind comments, particularly if unflattering images of someone are sent round behind their backs.

They are also worried about online bullying on websites such as Facebook, Twitter and Ask.fm – often by anonymous ‘trolls’ they have never met.

In 2012 and 2013 the Ask.fm website was directly blamed for the deaths of four teenagers in England and Ireland. These included Hannah Smith, who hanged herself aged 14 after months of taunting by anonymous users over her weight, the death of an uncle and her self-harming.

Hannah, from Lutterworth, Leicestershire, received messages telling her she was an ‘ugly ******’ and a ‘fat s***’. Less than a fortnight before her body was found in 2013, she had begged her tormentors to stop.

Ask.fm encourages its 60million users worldwide to ask a question which is then answered by everyone else, anonymously. Teens often post pictures of themselves and these can provoke spiteful comments.

MPs and medical professionals want schools to teach children about the tragic consequences of sexting and online bullying.

Dr Natasha Bijlani, consultant psychiatrist at the Priory Hospital Roehampton, South-West London, said: ‘This relatively new phenomenon of sexting – where explicit texts and pictures are sent between smartphone devices – seems to have become endemic, and we are not sure of the long-term consequences.

‘However, coupled with online bullying, we can expect an increasing number of people suffering issues of trust, shame, and self-loathing, sometimes manifesting itself in self-harming.’

She said sexting was now seen as the ‘new courtship’ but often had ‘nightmare consequences’.

‘The long-term effects of bullying can be prolonged and pervasive,’ she added. ‘Much more focus needs to be given to how best to educate young people about the risks of sending compromising images, and communicating with unknown others online, and how to cope with bullying via devices at school.

‘Episodes in childhood are often repressed and only later in life do these issues surface in the form of depression, stress and anxiety and other serious psychological conditions.’

Jenny Edwards, chief executive of the Mental Health Foundation charity, said: ‘There is a need for schools to lead on promoting emotional wellbeing. We know that over half of adults with serious mental health problems were first diagnosed when children.

‘But we need to recognise that while new technology may increase stress in some circumstances, it can also reduce it by creating online support and increasing access to treatment.’

Yet the true extent of the problem is likely to be even worse as more and more children start engaging online from a younger age.

Our research reveals that the majority of parents believe that cyber-bullying is not a problem until children reach at least 10 and so don’t plan to address it until then, but this perception is clearly misguided. The problem is that many parents assume that cyber-bullying only becomes a problem when children start using social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter.

However, the reality is that children as young as five are in fact using platforms where they can receive messages and interact with others, such as shared school platforms, social games, and even photo-sharing sites such as Instagram.

With the dangers clearly growing, it’s imperative that parents talk openly about the risks with their children as soon as they start interacting online – which may be younger than they think. This will ensure that the issue is addressed before it becomes a problem and will help to enable parents, and children, to stay one step ahead of the cyber-bullies and other online dangers.

Here’s our list of top tips for keeping your children safe online.

1. 1. Talk to them about the potential dangers.
   2. Encourage them to talk to you about their online experience and, in particular, anything that makes them feel uncomfortable or threatened.
   3. Set clear ground-rules about what they can and can’t do online and explain why you have put them in place. You should review these as your child gets older.
   4. Use parental control software to establish the framework for what’s acceptable – how much time (and when) they can spend online, what content should be blocked, what types of activity should be blocked (chat rooms, forums, etc.). Parental control filters can be configured for different computer profiles, allowing you to customise the filters for different children.

1. Protect computers using Internet security software.
2. Don’t forget their smartphone – these are sophisticated computers, not just phones. Most smartphones come with parental controls and security software providers may offer apps to filter out inappropriate content, senders of nuisance SMS messages, etc.

 

Facts About Bullying

• Both girls and boys can be bullies.
• Bullies target children who cry, get mad, or easily give in to them.
• There are 3 types of bullying.
  • Physical—hitting, kicking, pushing, choking, punching
  • Verbal—threatening, taunting, teasing, hate speech
  • Social—excluding victims from activities or starting rumors about them

Bullying Happens:

• At school—in the halls, at lunch, or in the bathroom, when teachers are not there to see what is going on.
• When adults are not watching—going to and from school, on the playground, or in the neighborhood.
• Through e-mail or instant messaging—rumors are spread or nasty notes are sent.

Bullying is Different from Fighting or Teasing:

• A bully has power over another child.
• Bullies try to control other children by scaring them.
• Being picked on over and over can make your child a victim.
• Bullying usually happens when other children are watching.

Talk With Your Child About Bullying

Even if you don’t think your child is bullied, a bully, or a bystander, you will be helping to protect your child just by asking these questions:

• “How are things going at school?”
• “What do you think of the other kids in your class?”
• “Does anyone get picked on or bullied?”

When your child is bullied, talk with your child about how to stay safe. Bullies always pick on smaller or weaker children. If there is a fight, and the bully “wins,” this will only make matters worse for your child.

Help your child learn how to respond

Let’s talk about what you can do and say if this happens again.

Teach your child how to:

• Look the bully in the eye.
• Stand tall and stay calm in a difficult situation.
• Walk away.

Teach your child how to say in a firm voice:

• “I don’t like what you are doing.”
• “Please do NOT talk to me like that.”
•  “Why would you say that?”

Just telling your child to do and say these things is not enough. For many children, these skills do not come naturally. It is like learning a new language—lots of practice is needed. Practice so that, in the heat of the moment, these skills will come to your child naturally.

Teach your child when and how to ask for help. Your child should not be afraid to ask an adult for help when bullying happens. Since some children are embarrassed about being bullied, parents need to let their children know that being bullied is not their fault.

Encourage your child to make friends with other children. There are many adult-supervised groups, in and out of school, that your child can join. Invite your child’s friends over to your home. Children who are loners are more likely to get picked on.

Support activities that interest your child. By participating in activities such as team sports, music groups, or social clubs, your child will develop new abilities and social skills. When children feel good about how they relate to others, they are less likely to be picked on.

Alert school officials to the problems and work with them on solutions.

• Since bullying often occurs outside the classroom, talk with the principal, guidance counselor, or playground monitors, as well as your child’s teachers. When school officials know about bullying, they can help stop it.
• Write down and report all bullying to your child’s school. By knowing when and where the bullying occurs, you and your child can better plan what to do if it happens again.
• Some children who are bullied will fear going to school, have difficulty paying attention at school, or develop symptoms like headaches or stomach pains.

When Your Child is the Bully

If you know that your child is bullying others, take it very seriously. Now is the time when you can change your child’s behavior.

In the long run, bullies continue to have problems. These problems often get worse. If the bullying behavior is allowed to continue, then when these children become adults, they are much less successful in their work and family lives and may even get in trouble with the law.

Set firm and consistent limits on your child’s aggressive behavior. Be sure your child knows that bullying is never OK.

Be a positive role model. Children need to develop new and constructive strategies for getting what they want.

Show children that they can get what they want without teasing, threatening, or hurting someone. All children can learn to treat others with respect.

Use effective, nonphysical discipline, such as loss of privileges. When your child needs discipline, explain why the behavior was wrong and how your child can change it.

Help your child understand how bullying hurts other children. Give real examples of the good and bad results of your child’s actions.

Develop practical solutions with others. Together with the school principal, teachers, counselors, and parents of the children your child has bullied, find positive ways to stop the bullying.