New research has revealed many parents are have no idea what teenagers are getting up to on the internet

IS your child safe online? You might think you’re keeping a close eye on their smartphone and computer use, but new research has revealed many parents have no idea what teenagers are getting up to on the internet.

A frightening study carried out at the University of Greenwich in England has found youngsters are freely accessing porn and ­gambling sites, conversing with strangers and posting images and videos of themselves without any monitoring from their parents.

The team studied 526 teens in Sweden for eight months, and then questioned them and their parents about their internet habits and the rules imposed by their parents.

Study author Dr Jerjra Van Zalk revealed: “There’s a very low correspondence between adolescent disclosure and parental knowledge. Maybe that’s not surprising.

“The parents say, ‘Oh yes, I know exactly what she’s up to,’ and the youths say, ‘No, I tell them nothing’.

“There is an emerging online social world which a lot of parents feel disconnected from and don’t actually know much about what their kids are up to online.”

The problem is made worse by new websites, social media platforms and apps constantly being developed, making it harder for parents to keep up.

So how can they protect youngsters from danger online?

JIM HARDING, director of the Irish anti-bullying service Bully4u, says parents need to be extra-vigilant.

Internet’s web of evil

WE always ask children “who’s monitoring you online?” and their response is that they’re monitoring themselves. They’re totally unsupervised.

When Bully 4u started visiting schools seven years ago and talking to parents, teachers and students, the advice was to keep the family computer in a room where mum and dad can see what’s going on.

Now, with multiple means of accessing the internet, policing is gone and children are unsupervised the majority of time.

When we started, Facebook was big with kids. Now it’s waning because their parents are on it — so they’ve moved to Instagram and Snapchat.

We know that a significant number of teenagers and young children are visiting chat roulette sites and speaking to strangers via webcam.

We’re particularly concerned about sites like Omegle.

It selects somebody at random from around the world to speak to you through a webcam for 30 minutes, and children as young as ten are accessing it.

Bully 4u is running a campaign to educate about the dangers of chat roulette sites.

There are other sites like Live.ly and Musical.ly which pre-teens use to make videos and lip sync to popular songs.

We’ve heard anecdotally from parents who’ve looked at their kids’ videos that they’re receiving messages from strangers.

We would warn parents against all sites which enable children to communicate with other people, they may not always be who they pretend to be. Children should be encouraged to use privacy settings.

Worryingly, some kids are turning off privacy settings to obtain more followers. We tell them that quality not quantity of followers should be their social media goal.

Parents need to become more involved. They may feel they’ve no influence on their children’s digital playground, but we know from experience that kids do listen to their parents.

Speak to children about the websites and apps they’re using.

Establish a line of communication with your child about their digital experiences.

Don’t bury your head in the sand. When we were kids we heard about stranger danger, and there was nothing else.

Now, paedophiles are going online for new opportunities.

If you look at the Yellow app, which is like Tinder for teenagers, anybody can set up a profile, pretend to be another teenager and ask for pictures.

Sexting is a massive problem and it’s going to be a huge issue in schools soon.

It’s important to realise that kids are not at all clued in. They’re not aware of the digital footprint they’re creating and not aware of the dangers of various sites.

They need to be educated about the consequences of their digital behaviour.

You might have a 14-year-old boy who goes online and thinks he’s communicating with a 14-year-old girl.

He’s being sent sexualised images or videos of a 14-year-old girl and he’s encouraged to undress. He’s being recorded by paedophiles and they use that video to snare the next child.

When these videos get out, they’re humiliating. When children are living in the moment they can’t see beyond this.

I would also urge parents to use parental controls offered by their internet provider. The vast majority of parents don’t use them and it means there’s a wave of pornography that’s easily accessible in the house.

The bottom line is that you wouldn’t give children the keys of a car without giving them an intensive course of education, driving lessons and practice. Yet we’re giving six, seven and eight-year-olds access to the internet with no education whatsoever.

Teen Aware, the student-led Good Friday concert that also delivers a range of information and supports for teens, has plans to extend countrywide it was revealed on Monday.

The concept was hit on some two and half years ago by transition year students in Tullamore’s Sacred Heart School. The first concert, held in 2011 on the grounds of Charleville Castle, delivered both music and suicide awareness information. Last year’s concert was attended by twice as many people and also included road safety information. This year the concert will take place at the larger venue of Kilbeggan Racecourse, with bullying information and support added to the line-up.

The Teen Aware concept was launched on Monday night in the Bridge House Hotel to a crowd of approximately 70 people. Speaking at the event Teen Aware committee member Barry Flynn said organisers are hoping to strengthen the event’s message in the future by making it a national one.

“Our aim is to make Good Friday Teen Aware Day nationally,” he explained, adding that teen initiatives nationwide might have a better impact if they were all on the same day. The idea of taking Teen Aware national is one that’s supported by tragic teen Ciara Pugsley’s father, Mr Flynn said. He also said organisers have floated the idea of the event becoming a national one to the Department of Health, and are currently awaiting a response.

Speaking at the concept launch Bully 4u’s Jim Harding said research carried out by his organisation suggests up to 80 per cent of eight year olds have phones, while some 40 per cent have Facebook accounts. With approximately one in four school children a victim of bullying, and cyber bullying on the rise, Mr Harding said victims of bullying these days have “no escape”. Bully 4u is one of the organisations that will be at Kilbeggan Racecourse on Good Friday, with Mr Harding saying his organisation will be offering all the support and assistance they can.

HSE Suicide Prevention Officer Josephine Rigney also spoke briefly on the night, lending her support to the event and its expansion nationwide. Kildare County Council road safety officer Declan Keogh told those gathered that colleagues from Laois, Offaly and Westmeath will be joining him in Kilbeggan on Good Friday with simulators and beer googles to give teenagers a real idea of the effect alcohol has on drivers.

The Teen Aware concept was also supported on the night by Dublin teenager Kayleigh Cullinan, who was bullied and viciously beaten in an attack that was recorded and posted online. As a result Kayleigh lost 90 per cent sight in one eye, but has discovered her beautiful singing voice. Speaking to the Offaly Independent Kayleigh said she was “delighted to help out”.

Supporters gathered for the event also had the chance to see a video put together by Midland Drama Schools and Mixed Bag Media, which has been taken on by the ISPCC and will shortly be launched on the ISPCC website.

Photograph: The N.O.R.F.C. under 7’s to 10’s participating in the workshop.

As part of our community involvement programme Nenagh Ormond R.F.C. Age-Grade section ran a very successful Anti Bullying Workshop in the clubhouse on Sunday last. The workshop was facilitated by Bully 4u.

Our young players found the workshop to be very interesting and informative and the workshop facilitators were very keen to highlight their level of participation and excellent behaviour throughout. We will be running a similar workshop for the parents shortly.

Photograph: Paul Collins (N.O.R.F.C. Age-grade coordinator) Lorcan O’Brien (under 7’s coach) Jim Harding (Bully 4u) Louis Manley (under 8’s coach) and Kevin Deering (Bully 4u)

The number of teens using the controversial website ask.fm has dropped dramatically, research has found.

A survey by the Irish anti-bullying service Bully4u showed that of the 40% of nine to 12-year-olds that had used the site, only 8% were still using it.

It also revealed that of the 45% of 13 and 14-year-olds and 55% of 15 to 17-year-olds who used it, only 10% of both groups still use it.

The website came in for huge criticism after the tragic suicides of Erin and Shannon Gallagher were linked to vile bullying on the site.

Jim Harding, director of Bully 4u, said cyber-bullying on ask.fm is one of the reason for the decline.

He added: “The latest figures from the survey will be welcomed by parents the length and breadth of Ireland. The decline is largely down to the media campaign against this site following a number of tragic suicides which were linked to cyber-bullying.

“Schoolchildren cite bullying on ask.fm and parental pressure as the main reasons they were no longer frequenting the site.” Almost every teenager who took part in the survey has a Facebook profile, while only half of them have a Twitter profile.

Mr Harding said: “Facebook’s requirement to open an account is that you must be 13years or older.

“Our research indicates that 85% of children aged nine to12 have a Facebook account and 33% of these were helped by their parents to open it.”

On Tuesday last, 7^th February, 1^st, 2^nd and 3^rd year students attended a work shop facilitated by Kevin Deering and Jim Harding  (Founder and Director of Bully 4u) from Bully 4u.

Bully 4u is a national not for profit organisation with an excellent reputation in the provision of anti-bullying services for Primary and Secondary schools in Ireland.

Students in CCS found the  workshops extremely effective encouraging the following results:

• Empowering the victims of bullying to seek assistance to end the cycle of abuse they are enduring.
• Assisting students engaged in bullying behaviour to recognise and change their behaviour.
• Empowering bystanders to support their fellow students and to report bullying behaviour to school authorities.

Kevin defined bullying as “The deliberate intimidation, persecution of those who are perceived as weaker”. Over the course of the workshops students for the 3 year groups took turns designing the front of a white tee shirt reflecting the experience of victims of Bullying. Displaying the Tee shirt in the Assembly Area, Kevin suggested would be a vivid reminder of the huge physical, emotional and psychological pain brought on by feelings of fear, loneliness, confusion, humiliation, stress, desperation, lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. He stressed the importance of victims seeking help to end the pain they are enduring as studies show young Bullys and Bully victims are more likely to suffer psychiatric problems or depression as adults.

Initially Kevin spoke about verbal bullying – hurtful words that can lower ones self-esteem. He emphasised always that there are three people involved in bullying – the victim, the bully and the bystander. He urged people not to stand idly by and do nothing and informed them of the different options of the bystander.

Moving on to physical bullying Kevin discussed the implications of hitting or kicking the property of the victim. Once again he reiterated the effect of these on the victim.

Finally, Kevin spoke about cyber bullying. This involves using technology to harass, intimidate or sending inappropriate messages to people. They focused intensely on the under belly of the WWW in particular “selfies” and sexting.

This takes place 24/7 and the person does not feel safe even in their own home. Students were informed that everything you do online leaves a digital footprint. Some people online will send inappropriate photos and use threatening behaviour. Others will “catfish” you by pretending to be someone they are not. Kevin, time and time again, highlighted the importance of dealing with this problem stating that everyone has a part to play. Students were urged to take personal responsibility for how they treat others, be it in person or on digital media. They were to remember that their future employers and police services worldwide can access the digital footprint at any stage once they begin using mobile devices over their entire lifetime. Students found this a most interesting, reflective and stimulating presentation and hopefully benefitted from the workshop.

Later in the evening parents were afforded the opportunity to attend this workshop also.

The key message to parents/guardians was “build solid relationships that support children socially among people and on social media”.  Be informed and be safe. “Your children have the right to be kept safe and happy exploring the world”