A lesson in self-confidence [The Courier-News, by Janelle Walker, 8/12/2010]

CARPENTERSVILLE — Bullies, according to one fifth-grader at Lakewood Elementary School, are people who don’t feel good about themselves, so they pick on other people.

Martial arts, such as those demonstrated to the school’s physical education classes this week, can help those bullies find self-confidence and self-control so they don’t feel the need to pick on others.

And for children who are bullied, martial arts can give them the confidence to stand up for themselves, look the bully in the eye, and tell them to stop, said Rick Steinmaier, whose Kim’s Black Belt Academy conducted the demonstrations.

Steinmaier reached out to several area schools this summer, offering to come in and teach children martial arts basics. Leann Granell, one of the physical education teachers at Lakewood, took him up on that offer.

She was particularly interested in focusing on bullying, an issue that has come into the forefront following the suicides of students around the country this year. Many of those students were reported to be victims of bullying.

Research shows that students who are bullied are far more likely to be suicidal, Steinmaier said. Boys who are bullied are five times more likely to take their own lives, and girls eight times more likely, he said.

The data on bullies themselves also are troubling, Steinmaier said. Statistics show that 60 percent of boys who are identified as bullies in school end up being convicted of crimes by the time they are 24 years old, he said.

Standing up to bullies

While the best way to stop bullying behavior is to tell an adult, Steinmaier said, it also works to stand up for oneself.

“Sometimes, all it takes is to look them in the eye and say, ‘You are bothering me. Stop it,’ ” Steinmaier said. “We are afraid to look someone in the eye, because it intimidates us. Once you have said that … odds are it will stop.”

Martial arts are not about violence and beating up bullies or the weak, Steinmaier said.

“We are talking about self-defense,” he said. “What we learn at the academy is not to be taken outside the academy.”

For students who are not involved in other sports, art or music, martial arts can be the niche that helps them find self-confidence, Granell added.

During Wednesday’s classes, just 35 minutes each, Steinmaier ran the students through basics such as what he calls the “big dog drill.” As if a big dog was chasing them, students ran in place, leaned forward to run uphill, back to go downhill, ducked like under a tree branch, jumped like leaping a fence, and side-stepped — like dodging an Illinois pothole.

Kicks, punches and barrel rolls completed the quick lesson.

“It is a little taste of what martial arts are like,” Granell said. Some students really got into it; others were less interested, she added.

Stress reliever

For those who are interested, Steinmaier offered a two-month scholarship to the Elgin-based Kim’s Black Belt Academy. Students were asked to write an essay talking about bullying — what it feels like to be bullied, how to stop it, or what to do when they witness it. The teachers will review those essays, and one student from each class, up to 11, will be offered the scholarship if their parents agree. The winning students will be honored in an all-school assembly prior to their winter break.

Lorimer Artaga, 12, of Carpentersville, said he planned to complete the essay and hoped he would get to use the scholarship. He’s been bullied, Artaga said, and admitted he has bullied himself.

“I got mostly experience about how to posture” during the class, he said. It also showed him there are other ways to get one’s anger out other than lashing out at others. “You can go there to get your stress out.”

The class also showed the sixth-grader that he does have power. “I felt my capacity of my strength. It could be something I could do in the future. It was like nothing else I have ever done,” Artaga said.

Kids who get into martial arts because of the one-class session could find themselves with an activity they enjoy for the rest of their lives, Granell added.

“They were exposed to an activity that many of them don’t get a chance to see,” she said. “It exposes kids to an opportunity and something they could do one a daily basis.”

7 Year-Old Girl with Huntington’s Disease Victim of Cyber-Bullying [emaxhealth.com, by Ramona Bates, 12/10/2010].

A 7 year-old girl with Huntington’s Disease is the victim of an extreme case of cyber-bullying.

The young girl, Kathleen Edward, lives in Trenton, Michigan. Her mother, Laura Edward, died of Huntington’s disease last year.

The cyber-bullying has come from her neighbors. MLive.com reports Jennifer Petkov, 33, admitted on camera Thursday night that she used her Facebook account to post disturbing death-related images of Kathleen Edward and her late mother.

Neighbors say the Petkovs built a coffin, put it on their truck and drove past the Edward home, honking the horn.

Cyber-bullying involves the use of information and communication technologies to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior by an individual or group, that is intended to harm others.

When asked by a reporter from Detroit television station WJBK why she posted the photos, Jennifer Petkov said without apology, “Personal satisfaction. Because it rubs their a—s raw. Burns their a—s.”

The news of the cyber-bullying has gone viral with backlash from people from around the world posting Facebook, YouTube and Twitter pages of their own attacking Jennifer Petkov. The Petkovs have apologized to the Edward family.

Adults who are bullies lash out at others for the same reason children who are bullies do. Often out of anger, resentment and jealousy. Bullies often lack poor conflict resolution skills, a lack of moral development and the desire to bully.

Click here for information on an Oct. 23 rally supporters are organizing on Kathleen’s behalf.

Huntington’s disease is an inherited, progressive, degenerative disease that causes certain nerve cells in your brain to waste away. As a result, you may experience uncontrolled movements, emotional disturbances and mental deterioration. Most often, signs and symptoms of the disease develop in middle age not in children. When they do occur in children, the disease is more severe and progresses more quickly.

Here’s some links to information to help you prevent this from occurring in your kids – and yourselves:
Cyberbullying.org
SaferInternet.org
Stop Cyberbullying Network

At Last, Facing Down Bullies (and Their Enablers) [ The New York Times, by Perri Klass, 8/6/2009].

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Back in the 1990s, I did a physical on a boy in fifth or sixth grade at a Boston public school. I asked him his favorite subject: definitely science; he had won a prize in a science fair, and was to go on and compete in a multischool fair.

The problem was, there were some kids at school who were picking on him every day about winning the science fair; he was getting teased and jostled and even, occasionally, beaten up. His mother shook her head and wondered aloud whether life would be easier if he just let the science fair thing drop.

Bullying elicits strong and highly personal reactions; I remember my own sense of outrage and identification. Here was a highly intelligent child, a lover of science, possibly a future (fill in your favorite genius), tormented by brutes. Here’s what I did for my patient: I advised his mother to call the teacher and complain, and I encouraged him to pursue his love of science.

And here are three things I now know I should have done: I didn’t tell the mother that bullying can be prevented, and that it’s up to the school. I didn’t call the principal or suggest that the mother do so. And I didn’t give even a moment’s thought to the bullies, and what their lifetime prognosis might be.

In recent years, pediatricians and researchers in this country have been giving bullies and their victims the attention they have long deserved — and have long received in Europe. We’ve gotten past the “kids will be kids” notion that bullying is a normal part of childhood or the prelude to a successful life strategy. Research has described long-term risks — not just to victims, who may be more likely than their peers to experience depression and suicidal thoughts, but to the bullies themselves, who are less likely to finish school or hold down a job.

Next month, the American Academy of Pediatrics will publish the new version of an official policy statement on the pediatrician’s role in preventing youth violence. For the first time, it will have a section on bullying — including a recommendation that schools adopt a prevention model developed by Dan Olweus, a research professor of psychology at the University of Bergen, Norway, who first began studying the phenomenon of school bullying in Scandinavia in the 1970s. The programs, he said, “work at the school level and the classroom level and at the individual level; they combine preventive programs and directly addressing children who are involved or identified as bullies or victims or both.”

Dr. Robert Sege, chief of ambulatory pediatrics at Boston Medical Center and a lead author of the new policy statement, says the Olweus approach focuses attention on the largest group of children, the bystanders. “Olweus’s genius,” he said, “is that he manages to turn the school situation around so the other kids realize that the bully is someone who has a problem managing his or her behavior, and the victim is someone they can protect.”

The other lead author, Dr. Joseph Wright, senior vice president at Children’s National Medical Center in Washington and the chairman of the pediatrics academy’s committee on violence prevention, notes that a quarter of all children report that they have been involved in bullying, either as bullies or as victims. Protecting children from intentional injury is a central task of pediatricians, he said, and “bullying prevention is a subset of that activity.”

By definition, bullying involves repetition; a child is repeatedly the target of taunts or physical attacks — or, in the case of so-called indirect bullying (more common among girls), rumors and social exclusion. For a successful anti-bullying program, the school needs to survey the children and find out the details — where it happens, when it happens.

Structural changes can address those vulnerable places — the out-of-sight corner of the playground, the entrance hallway at dismissal time.

Then, Dr. Sege said, “activating the bystanders” means changing the culture of the school; through class discussions, parent meetings and consistent responses to every incident, the school must put out the message that bullying will not be tolerated.

So what should I ask at a checkup? How’s school, who are your friends, what do you usually do at recess? It’s important to open the door, especially with children in the most likely age groups, so that victims and bystanders won’t be afraid to speak up. Parents of these children need to be encouraged to demand that schools take action, and pediatricians probably need to be ready to talk to the principal. And we need to follow up with the children to make sure the situation gets better, and to check in on their emotional health and get them help if they need it.

How about helping the bullies, who are, after all, also pediatric patients? Some experts worry that schools simply suspend or expel the offenders without paying attention to helping them and their families learn to function in a different way.

“Zero-tolerance policies that school districts have are basically pushing the debt forward,” Dr. Sege said. “We need to be more sophisticated.”

The way we understand bullying has changed, and it’s probably going to change even more. (I haven’t even talked about cyberbullying, for example.) But anyone working with children needs to start from the idea that bullying has long-term consequences and that it is preventable.

I would still feel that same anger on my science-fair-winning patient’s behalf, but I would now see his problem as a pediatric issue — and I hope I would be able to offer a little more help, and a little more follow-up, appropriately based in scientific research.