Tag: sexting

Decoding teen sexting: what do the abbreviations mean? [Local12, by Sheila Gray, 10/2/2015]

Sexting or texting? Do you know what your children are typing when they’re hunched over their phones?

The lingo they use might not make sense to many parents, but Local 12’s Sheila Gray has some tips on how to decode what’s become almost like a secret language.

BRB (be right back) and LOL (laugh out loud) are innocent enough, but have you heard of KPC (keeping parents clueless)?

Some texts aren’t for kids, yet guess who’s sending them?

Debbie and 13-year-old Gabby Shaw are your average mom and daughter duo, and no surprise, this 8th grader loves to text.

“[How many texts] a day? I’d say about 50,” said Gabby. “I am concerned of what she may receive,” said Debbie.

We showed gabby some PG-13 acronyms, and the fact that gabby had never seen some of these is a good thing.

Head of Child Psychology at Dayton Children’s Dr. Gregory Ramey has seen it all but he says that “As a parent and a professional, I wouldn’t know what these [texts] mean.”  

We’ll keep it PG-13 and decode some of the acronyms we can actually say.

IWS means “I want sex.”

GNOC means “get naked on cam.”

GYPO  means “get your pants off.”

Also, mom and dad, kids are talking about you too…

PIR means “parent in room.”

POS means “parent over shoulder.”

H4Y means “hot for you.”

TDTM means “talk dirty to me”

Words aren’t the only tools at your disposal either.

Emojis can be strung together to depict some pretty R-rated stuff.

They’ll become one of the 40% that will have sexual intercourse during their high school years. That’s what sexting is.  

Dr. Ramey says one-third of kids sext. Be proactive and make sure your kids aren’t among them.

If you want to decrease the likelihood of your child sexting, begin at an early age to have a very open conversation with your children around junior high, that’s the best thing you could do.  

“We have a trust factor, an open relationship where we’re communicating about it,” said Debbie. “I do go through the phone periodically but it has been pretty innocent so far.”

Experts say it’s wise to check up on your teens but advise parents not to do it behind their backs.

Teenage girls warned off ‘sexting’ pics after images leaked in North Herts [Mercury, by Michael Havis, 04/2/2015]

Teenage girls have been warned not to send indecent pictures to their boyfriends after a number of snaps turned up online.

North Herts chief inspector Julie Wheatley revealed there have been several reports from concerned parents whose daughters were coaxed into sending indecent photos.

The images – which are illegal if the girl is under 18 – have then been posted on public websites after the relationship ended.

Mrs Wheatley told the Mercury: “It concerns the parents and the girls affected massively. I just want people to be aware that this is an offence.

“My officers have been going into schools to do a personal safety awareness campaign around this issue.”

In the wake of the news, The Mercury contacted all of the secondary schools and colleges in the district for comment. Only two spoke out about the issue.

Jed Whelan, head teacher of Fearnhill School in Letchworth GC, said: “We are aware of the issue around safe use of the internet.

“We make our students aware of the dangers of inappropriate use of the internet and are constantly reaffirming that. I’m sure all schools will do the same.”

Meanwhile, Martin Brown, head teacher at Hitchin Boys’ School , said: “Our PSHE programme covers all aspects of e-safety, and our e-safety policy also refers to the dangers of online communication.

“In addition, we have held evenings for parents to provide guidance on similar internet-related issues.”

As the school authority, Hertfordshire County Council (HCC) ran a survey that found fewer than 1 per cent of parents thought their children used chat rooms, although nearly 10 per cent of youngsters did.

Councillor Chris Hayward – cabinet member for enterprise, education and skills at HCC– said: “The council is committed to working with our partners to keep young people safe both on and offline.

“By talking to them about what is appropriate to share with others we can do our best to help protect them from potential dangers.”

Claire Lilley, NSPCC lead for child safety online, said: “Young people may think ‘sexting’ is harmless but it can mean they are committing a crime.

“It may also leave them vulnerable to blackmail and bullying and the humiliation and embarrassment of everyone they know seeing the images.

“There is also the risk that sexual predators will try to get hold of the images, which we know is a very real risk.”

The charity said the problem was becoming more prevalent and that it had held 351 counselling sessions with affected children in 2012/13 – an increase of 28 per cent on the previous year.

In a statement issued to this newspaper, Hertfordshire Constabulary warned that posting the photos online is a criminal offence that is taken very seriously, and that those responsible would be pursued.

Police are advising young people to be mindful of privacy settings when sharing information online, to only share details such as mobile numbers with trusted friends, and never to send indecent images.

Educators get tips on how to deal with student sexting [Montreal Gazette, by Brenda Branswell,30/1/2015]

A high school student snaps an intimate photo of herself and sends it to her boyfriend, but then frets after they break up about what might happen to it

Maybe nothing happens. Or maybe the sexual image gets shared and posted online.

“Sexting” or sending sexual images over cellphones, was the focus of a talk Friday at the English Montreal School Board where staff gathered to hear Noni Classen from the Canadian Centre for Child Protection.

“It’s hard to measure, but what we do know is it’s happening much more than it’s reported,” Classen said of the practice among teenagers.

The Winnipeg-based charitable organization has seen about a 10 per cent increase in cases dealing with “sexting” on cybertip.ca, its tip line for reporting the online sexual exploitation of children.

“And we know that we’re only getting the tip of the iceberg so we can say that it is a pervasive problem in that it’s occurring much more regularly than it used to.”— Noni Classen of the Canadian Centre for Child Protection

“And we know that we’re only getting the tip of the iceberg so we can say that it is a pervasive problem in that it’s occurring much more regularly than it used to,” said Classen, the centre’s director of education.

They hear about it when it becomes a problem for a kid, she said. They know there are cases involving boys as well, but girls are overrepresented in the reports they receive and what they hear.

The centre looked at 108 cases of teenage sexting reported to its tip line of photos being posted or shared. The vast majority of cases involved girls — 93. Parents knew about it in 35 cases and schools in only 19 instances.

Most of the reporting to the centre’s tip line is about adults involving things like child pornography and luring. But since 2005, they’ve started seeing an increase in reporting from kids because of this problem that they had “created content and it was causing distress for them. So they became the reporting person and the victim,” Classen said.

“We started looking at this going okay, there’s a problem. And our law enforcement partners … they started saying: ‘Oh my gosh, we’re being inundated by this.’ And then we started getting calls from schools and so realized we really need to take a look at this and put something together that’s more of a framework and a structured way to be walking through these cases to support kids.”
Resource guide

The centre has produced a resource guide for schools and families about “self/peer exploitation.” The section for families can be downloaded for free from the centre’s website. It also has a website, www.needhelpnow.ca, that offers information for teens who have been affected by the sharing of sexual images and videos with suggestions for how they can try to get them taken off the Internet.

Schools often call it cyberbullying and it’s because content has been created and then shared with other people beyond it’s intended recipient, Classen said.

“You also get a range. So you get some kids who it’s not a big deal, but they know that it’s a problem if there’s pictures being shared so we need to get the pictures down, we need to get the pictures contained. Other kids can’t stop worrying about it. It’s a huge source of anxiety for them. It’s a huge source of anxiety for their families … concern for what do we do, how do we deal with this?”
Can became suicidal

For others it’s so distressing they can became suicidal, Classen said.

It has become one of the issues they’re dealing with, said Pela Nickoletopoulos, principal at Lester B. Pearson High School in Montreal North, who has had to intervene in a few cases.

“It is something that we come across in the school often enough,” said Jaimie Dimopoulos, a guidance counsellor at Rosemount High School.

“In the events that I’ve seen, it’s the students that are coming to see us because they feel stuck and they’re not sure what else they can do at this point,” Dimopoulos said.

In her experience, it has typically been girls sending pictures to their boyfriends “and then they’re kind of stuck with the boyfriends have this content now and they don’t feel safe with it, or they’ve now entered into an argument so they’re not sure how this will be used,” Dimopoulos said.

Sexting is normal for children: study [SBS.COM.AU, by AAP, 15/10/2014 ].

Children now see “sexting” as part of normal life with girls more likely to provide sexually explicit pictures of themselves through social media Smartphone apps, according to an anti-bullying report.

Instances of abuse and sexting, where explicit texts and pictures are sent between smartphone devices, are on the rise and are having a serious detrimental effect on the health and wellbeing of young people, English charity Ditch the Label has claimed.

The British anti-bullying organisation surveyed 2732 people aged between 13 and 25 and had published the findings in its Wireless Report.

The survey revealed that 62 per cent of young people had been abused through a Smartphone app, while 37 per cent had sent a naked photo of themselves and 24 per cent had seen that image shared without their consent.

Girls were twice as likely to send a naked photo to someone than boys, the report said.

While 49 per cent of those questioned said they believed sexting was just a bit of harmless fun and 16 per cent said it was “the normal thing to do”, 13 per cent of young people claimed they had felt pressurised into sending explicit pictures.

Chloe, 17, who did not want to give her surname for fear of reprisals, said she fell into a deep depression after sending a naked photo of herself to a boy she trusted, only to find he had uploaded it to Facebook.

The teenager was being bullied at school three years ago and thought that by becoming friends with the boy the bullying would stop.

She claims he spent three or four months asking for her to send him a naked “selfie” and that she eventually relented under the pressure.

The next day she saw the picture had been uploaded to Facebook and many pupils at her school had seen it.

“He said it served me right. It had a lot of repercussions for me and I fell into a severe depression.

“I tried to commit suicide a few times. It was really tough.

“I didn’t let my dad know because it would have broken his heart. My mum was angry with me but there was nothing she could do but support me.”

Chloe said she contacted Facebook but it took at least two days for the image to come down, by which time the damage had already been done.

The Facebook website says it does not tolerate bullying or harassment and that it has “a strict policy against the sharing of pornographic content and any explicitly sexual content where a minor is involved”.

It claims it also imposes limitations on the display of nudity.

Ditch the Label also looked at the most popular apps used by young people on Smartphones.

Snapchat – an instant photo sharing platform with images being “deleted” after 10 seconds, came top, followed by Instagram, Skype, Kik Messenger – a free anonymous instant messaging app, and Whatsapp, according to the charity.

The survey also revealed that 62 per cent of young people had been sent nasty private messages through Smartphone apps and that 52 per cent had never reported the abuse they received.

A further 26 per cent said they felt like their complaint was not taken seriously when they reported it, the survey said.

Almost half of those who had suffered abuse through a Smartphone app said they had experienced a loss of confidence, while 22 per cent turned to self-harming as a coping mechanism and 22 per cent tried to change their appearance to avoid further abuse.

Claire Lilley, head of Child Online Safety at the NSPCC said: “Sadly many children now see sexting as part of normal life with girls constantly being pestered to provide sexual pictures of themselves.

“It may seem harmless fun but it can often have a devastating end with images that were never intended to be shared being circulated to a massive audience.”

Recent feedback from training provided to Northern Ireland Social work and Social care staff on Bullying, Cyber Bullying, Sexting and Self-Harm.

The following is some of the feedback we received after providing training on Bullying, Cyber Bullying, Sexting and Self-Harm to ‘Western Trust’, Northern Ireland Social work and Social care staff from CAMHS, ASD Team, Children’s Disability Programmes and open to other staff in family and childcare: Gateway, FIS, LAC, Adoption and Fostering, Residential, 16 Plus etc. ;

” Excellent facilitation. Very clear, concise and useful examples to illustrate points.”

“Very good training. The trainers were brilliant. Real life experience with a broad range of training with children/ adolescents”.

“Delivered and presented very well. Both trainers have a wealth of knowledge”.

“This training should be provided to education staff, parents, carers and foster carers”.

“Excellent passionate speakers who have lots of knowledge”.

“Excellent delivery of information. A lot of relevant information with discussion and examples from both trainers / others from the group”.

” Lovely relaxed style. Talking / listening dialogue. Having attended so much training over the years – I enjoy this style of informal, conversational best rather than ‘exercises’ “.

” Very informative. Very good delivery of material and information”.

” Very detailed presentation with lots of applicable examples. People were invited into the conversation freely. Very knowledgeable and applied it to the different professionals at the training”.

“Created more awareness for me around the signs and symptoms of cyber bullying”.

“I think it would be very helpful for other members of my team to attend this training”.

” Course would be very beneficial in our ‘Northern Schools’ and within team settings in work places”.

“Would encourage my local schools to invite ‘Bully 4u’ to speak to primary and secondary school pupils”.

” Extremely good – no jargon. Appropriate for all FIS staff “.

” Lots of useful tools to be used and shared, such as information on self-harm and bullying policies. Information continually interesting “.

” Relaxed, enjoyable and interesting, with a lot of little personal stories. Strongly suggest that team leaders and trainers attend this training – possibility of making it mandatory “.

” The training gave me more knowledge and tips how to communicate better with the young people. I will encourage staff to apply for this training and implement this into their work “.

” Very informative. Good information provided that can be applied to practise. Very interactive. Brilliant presentation and presenters “.

” Excellent. Easy to listen to, informal and interesting. Real life experiences very powerful. Found creative ideas very interesting. Would be useful for training to be delivered to parents and schools in N.I. “.

One in four Irish children has taken part in ‘sexting’. [Irish Independent, by Clodagh Sheehy, 20/01/14]

Forensic psychologist Dr Maureen Griffin says one in four children in this country send or receive these sexually explicit photograph and text messages, and children as young as 10 are involved.

The Department of Education has confirmed it is developing a programme for junior and senior second-level students on “personal safety”.

Now Dr Griffin wants to ensure that sexting is included in the programme.

She says it is extremely important that this issue is covered in the lesson plan.

Her call follows moves in the UK, where Education Secretary Michael Govehas bowed to pressure from teachers, parents and sexual health experts to update sex education in schools to include the dangers of online pornography and sexting.

Dr Griffin stressed that while parents have a primary role in monitoring their children’s phone use, schools are increasingly being faced with the problems.

Sexting, along with phone and internet pornography, is “rife among school children from third class upwards and sometimes even younger,” said Dr Griffin, whose company, Internet Safety for Schools, delivers programmes covering the whole area of cyber-bullying.

She said that children and teenagers using social media like Snapchat “don’t understand the wider implications of what they are doing.

“They think once they send the picture it’s gone and don’t understand that someone can take a screenshot … and send it on.

CONSEQUENCES

“They are distanced from sending these pictures because they are only pushing buttons on their phone and it removes them from thinking about the consequences”.

She added: “Everyone knows what to do if a man with a bag of sweets comes up and asks you to get into his car — but we need to break down the distance technology creates.”

The psychologist emphasises that “education is key” in helping young people to deal with peer pressure, giving them the tools to block and deal with sexting when it happens, but also reassuring them that they have the right to say “No”.

Eton bans Snapchat over concerns it could be used for sexting. [ The Independent, by Adam Withnall, 5/1/2014 ].

The messaging service, which deletes images and videos after they have been viewed and whose CEO recently rejected a $3 billion takeover bid from Facebook, has unwittingly developed a reputation for being used as a platform for sexting.

As a result, the app has now been added to a list of programmes which are blocked on the school’s wireless network – though that won’t necessarily stop boys getting their hands on it altogether.

Headmaster Tony Little told the SundayTelegraph: “It is blocked from the Eton wireless internet system.”

He added: “Boys can still use it via the 3G phone network, but we hope that blocking it on our network will, at least, make them think twice.

“This is part of our continuing effort to educate boys in the sensible use of technology.”

Eton has previously said it doesn’t want to be the “last dinosaur standing” when it comes to the use of and education about technology in schools. In November the head of the school’s online team, Percy Harrison, told theTimes they were working on collaborating with London-based tech entrepreneurs, and said: “Twenty years from now what happens in school will be dramatically different.”

Snapchat has recently suffered from security concerns after a group of hackers posted the account details of more than 4.6 million users online.

Last year its 23-year-old co-founder and CEO Evan Spiegel was reported to have turned down an offer from Facebook of $3 billion (£1.9 billion) for his young firm.

Teens warned on legal consequences of ‘sexting’. [ LowellSun.com, by Dina Samfield, 1/1/2014 ].

Sexting is legally defined as “an act of sending sexually explicit materials through mobile phones.” The messages may be text, photo or video, according to the law.

“It can be a touchy topic, but it is being used by middle-schoolers,” Coniglio said. “If we talk about it, we can help keep it from happening in the first place.”

What many parents do not know is that sending or receiving a sexually suggestive text or image of someone under the age of 18 is considered child pornography and can result in criminal charges.

According to dosomething.org, a nonprofit for young people and social change, among 14- to 24-year-olds who admit to sexting, 29 percent send these messages to people they have never met, but know from the Internet.

Sending semi-nude or nude photos is more common among teen girls, and sexually suggestive messages are more common among boys than girls. Seventeen percent of sexters share the messages they receive with others, and 55 percent of those share them with more than one person.

Teenage girls offered several reasons for sexting: 40 percent do it as a joke, 34 percent do it to feel sexy, and 12 percent feel pressured to do it. Eleven percent of girls ages 13-16 have been involved with sending or receiving sexually explicit messages.

“A lot of kids think it is fun or they are being silly, but if you are allowing your child to have a phone, it is a good idea to have a conversation with your child about this because this is a serious crime,” Coniglio said.

Parents who allow their children to have cellphones should set rules for their use and discuss what sort of information and images are appropriate to share via text, Coniglio said.

“You can block images from being received and sent,” she said, adding that if children show they can handle having a phone, parents can give them a little more flexibility.

“Know what safeguards are available on your child’s phone, such as turning off and/or blocking texting and picture features,” she said. “Think about what would happen if your child were charged with passing pornography — how it affects your future. Talk to your child about it.”

Legal ramifications

Some consequences of being charged with the crime include denial of college admission, ineligibility for student financial aid, restrictions on employment, and restrictions on where you live.

Ayer Patrol Officer Jennifer Bigelow said there are many cases of kids taking pictures at age 10 or 11, “and then they come back up. Someone will post it and it will be affiliated with certain schools.”

She said that fortunately, in Massachusetts, there is a Juvenile Diversion Program that works with first-time juvenile offenders ages 7-17. It offers an alternative to the juvenile court system. In that case, the charge would not go on the offender’s criminal record.

But, she warned, “once a sex offender, you are a sex offender for life.”

Even a person who takes a photo of himself or herself can be charged with the dissemination of pornography.

“A lot of girls take shots of themselves, and even if no face is shown, the word gets out and then it goes online. It’s not just between cellphones, but it can show up in India and places all over the world we don’t know about, and the kids know more than we do and pick up new things, so it’s hard to track,” Bigelow said.

“We don’t want to charge a child,” said Shirley police Sgt. Alfreda Cromwell, “but the DA wants to know. It is really about helping them,” she said of youthful offenders.

In response to a question about whether parents are liable for their children’s cellphone activities, Coniglio suggested that anything parents see that is questionable should be reported right away.

“The key here is prevention,” she said. “Talk with your children beforehand and let them know what can happen as a result. A phone really is a handheld computer, so it is hard to control. Monitoring is key, but dialogue is more important, because you can’t control every time your child is going on the Internet.”

Young people are sexting – but that doesn’t mean they necessarily want to be, says research. [ The Independent, by Antonia Molloy, 6/1/2014 ].

More than half (52.3 per cent) of young adults have engaged in “ unwanted but consensual sexting with a committed partner”, according to research to be published in February in the journalComputers in Human Behaviour.

Most did so for flirtation, foreplay, to fulfil a partner’s needs, or for intimacy, but women were more likely to consent to unwanted sexting because of anxieties about their relationships.

The research, which was carried out by scientists at Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis (IUPUI), polled 155 undergraduates in committed relationships on their sexting habits.

Fifty-five per cent of the female respondents said they had previously engaged in unwanted sexting, while 48 per cent of men had done the same.

The results show similarities between sexual behaviour online and off: in both cases, couples will willingly go along with sex, even when they do not feel like it, from reasons ranging from satisfying their partner to avoiding an argument.

But while women are often considered to engage in unwanted sex more than men, the research shows only a small difference in the number of men and women partaking in unwanted sexting.

The authors of the article argued “gender-role expectations” could be to blame. Men might be more likely to agree to undesired sexting because doing so is “relatively easy and does not require them to invest more into the relationship,” while women might be discouraged from virtual sex because it fails to help them attain their relationship “goals”.

The survey also showed that people who were anxious about their relationships were more likely to send begrudging sexts, in a bid to alleviate fears about alienation or abandonment by their partners.

Sexting: An open letter from parents to teenagers. [ BBC News, by Olivia Sorrel-Dejerine, 21/11/22013 ].

Here is a selection of open-letters from parents who blog to their pre-teen or teenage children about the issue.

By Jean, a single parent to two teenage girls

Dear girls,

So, sexting. It’s not something I ever imagined we’d have to talk about, mainly because it didn’t even exist until a few years ago.

We’ve had plenty of conversations about sex over the years, and now you’re both teenagers I never shy away from talking to you about alcohol and using drugs, but this is a new one and although you’re probably cringing right now the fact it exists means we need to talk about it.

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Children and technology

Child's hands on laptop

91% of UK children live in a household with access to the internet (2012)

62% of children aged 12-15 own a smartphone (2012)

43% of children use the internet in their bedroom (2012)

17.1 hours – the average number of hours 12-15-year-olds spend online each week (2012)

The biggest problem with sexting is the lack of control on your part. Once you send an explicit photo or video to someone, as soon as you press “send” you have handed over control to whoever receives it. Think that’s not a problem because he’s someone you trust? Maybe now, yes, but what about when you are no longer a couple/friends and he decides to share your photo?

Before long everyone you know (and plenty that you don’t) will have seen that image, the one that was meant for one person’s eyes only, and there’s not a thing you can do about it. Once it’s out there in the ether you can kiss goodbye to any control over who sees it. Pretty yucky, eh?

And just in case you’re wondering, if you did get caught sexting, of course I’d be disappointed. Not because it would be embarrassing for me, although of course it would be. No, I’d be more upset about your lack of self-respect. Do you respect yourself enough not to be pressured or emotionally blackmailed into something like this? I think you do.

Think about it this way – before you send an intimate message or photo to anyone ask yourself if you would post it on your own Facebook wall. No? Then don’t send it to anyone. End of.

Jean

Scene from HollyoaksHollyoaks’ Holly Cunningham shares a revealing photo which is posted online

By Tim Atkinson

Dear son,

This isn’t an easy letter to write but it might just be one of the most important you read, so please read on. And I know what you’re thinking – here goes dad spoiling the fun, being boring, not understanding anything.

But the thing is, I do. I understand what goes on and I understand why it happens, too. And I know a little of the consequences – enough to know that it isn’t always just “fun”. These things stick around. And in a few years from now, the things you say, the pictures you post, the texts and tweets and updates… well, they could all come crashing down around your head.

But dad, you’re saying – it’s harmless, it’s a laugh, everyone does it.

Well just because everyone does, it doesn’t make it right. And it might be a laugh now, but people change, relationships change. What’s said can’t be unsaid and if it’s in writing then it’s potential dynamite.

And it isn’t always harmless. Anything but. What’s done in the heat of the moment or the height of passion can be potentially devastating in the morning. And remember – these things have a habit of sticking around.

So before you dismiss it as harmful ‘banter’ just remember:

*Other people will see or read it. It’s almost inevitable. Can you deal with that?

*It might come back to haunt you later. Friends can become enemies. Don’t leave them with any powerful weapons to use against you.

*And finally – respect the person you’re with. And ask yourself whether what you’re saying or what you’re doing shows that.

Simple rules but I think they’ll make things a lot less complicated for you down the line.

Love,

Dad

By Jo Middleton

Dear daughter,

I want you to take a few minutes please just to picture a little scenario.

It’s been three years in the making but you are finally applying for your very first job out of university. (It will come round quick you know.) It’s exactly what you want – the first step on a dream career path – and you’ve been offered an interview. You’re over the moon of course, and so you should be, you’ve worked hard to get here.

You spend ages preparing and are feeling confident. You rock up, in your best black suit and the smart shoes you borrowed from your flatmate, and prepare to be grilled. The panel look frosty though, concerned. “We’ve been researching you online,” they say, “and we found this…”

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More from the Magazine

Emily Cook – speaking to the BBC News Magazine about self-taken photos or “selfies”, says that her generation has forever been warned about internet risks and, as a result, she’s careful.

“At the end of the day it’s my face and body, and if I choose to put it online that’s up to me, but I also have to take the blame if they fall into the wrong hands. I’d never post anything I wouldn’t want printed and sent to my mum.”

Bam.

That’s it, dream job out the window.

I know you probably think I’m just some cynical old technophobe, that I’m uncool and don’t understand young people, but the problem is that I understand young people and technology only too well. Sending that provocative picture of yourself, that suggestive text message, might feel like a perfectly normal and safe thing to do at the time, but the trouble is that however loving the relationship may be when you send it, however much you may trust the person you are sexting, can you ever know what the future will hold?

In my day of course, before we all had smartphones and still communicated via pigeons and slates, it wasn’t an issue. You might have sent letters, possibly made the odd private video, but there were only ever one copy of these – easily found and destroyed, not so easily shared. Nowadays it takes just a second, one button – “upload” – and your most intimate moments and thoughts are out there for the world to see. Forever.

I’m not saying you have to close yourself off – suspect everyone and deny your sexuality – but please just be careful. Stop to think before you commit thoughts and images to cyberspace, because the minute they leave your phone they cease to be yours.

Love Mum xx

PS You’re going to nail that interview when it comes around, I know you are.

Girl using mobile phone

By Suzanne Whitton

Dearest daughter,

If I was sitting opposite you right now, you would probably be rolling your eyes in despair, or perhaps embarrassment, but this way, I hope that you will give my words a chance.

I know that you see yourself as a grown-up teenager, able to make decisions for yourself but trust me, sometimes your “uncool” mum only has your best interests at heart. Please hear me out.

Continue reading the main story

Childline’s Zipit campaign

Images from Childline's Zipit app
  • Smartphone app Zipit was launched by Childline to help teenagers refuse requests for explicit images of themselves
  • The free app offers users a choice of picture responses to send instead
  • Zipit also offers advice on safe online chatting and on what young people should do if they feel threatened or if an image becomes public

As I watch you blossom from a child into a young lady, my biggest prayer is that you retain your innocence for as long as possible. This doesn’t mean that I want to “baby” you, it just means that I am trying my hardest to keep your life age-appropriate. On occasion you will think my decision and advice is unfair, even ridiculous, but as your parent, my greatest role in life to be the gate-keeper to your heart.

Every day I see girls of your age – just 13 and still children – posting suggestive images of themselves, on Facebook and Instagram, photographs which once in the public domain, cannot be erased. I am shocked and saddened by these girls’ eagerness to flaunt their adolescent bodies, pouting in front of the camera lens, taunting young boys and even grown men. With the arrival of Snapchat – an app which promises to leave no trace of your image online – the temptation is likely to be greater. My instinct to protect your innocence however, emerges even stronger.

Please stop and think before you post. Who is going to be seeing this image? Who might they send it on to? What impression of yourself are you leaving with that person? Please consider if it is the right one, the one that you want them to remember you by.

Can I ask one more thing? That you respect yourself – not only the teenage-self that you are now, but the adult that you will one day become.

Your ever-loving Mum x

By Erica Buteau

To my 12-year-old daughter,

We’ve talked about saying no. You know that you should always say no to drugs, no to sex or inappropriate touching. You understand stranger danger. But, what about what happens when you are alone at home? I want to be sure that you understand how dangerous the internet, and even your cellphone can really be.

I know we’ve talked about “stranger danger” and false identities before. But, what about that friend or boyfriend? You know, the cute boy at school that you gave your number to. Or, the one that you sometimes instant message with. I know how much you like him and how much you want him to like you back. What scares me is that I don’t know if you have the self-esteem and the confidence to draw the line.

The sad truth is, boys will sometimes ask you to send them pictures of you or talk with them about sex over text or instant message. This is called “sexting” and it’s not okay. Even if you trust this boy completely, once you hit send you can’t take it back. The picture of you revealing something private can easily be forwarded to friends, posted on the internet and most likely will get into the wrong hands. (And, remember, you can’t ever even be sure who is on the other side of the computer, cellphone or chat or that the person you are talking to is alone.)

Think about how you would feel if you sent a picture or dirty text to someone. Are you respecting your body? Are you respecting your privacy? What guarantee do you have that the recipient of that message will do the same? Can you trust that person with your reputation or even your future? Remember, there are no take backs. Once it is sent, it’s as good as on the internet or being passed around school. Remember, one chance, one life. There are no take-backs.

Love,

Mom

By Emma Bradley

Dear daughter,

Being a teen is much harder today, you are subject to social media which invades your very being. You live your life by sharing, from the selfies you Instagram to the thoughts you tweet. Thankfully I never had that to manage alongside the usual teenage relationships I would write letters to my friends and boyfriends but they didn’t have the ability to share so widely, no chance of a private conversation going viral.

I want you to be wise online and stay safe. One of the concerns I have is with photos and sexting. Not only am I your mum, but I’m teacher who has heard some horror stories. Girls that have sent compromising photos of themselves that have then been shared around the school like a holiday snap. I don’t want you to feel the hurt and humiliation that goes with that particular mistake.

Getting too drunk, having your heart broken – those will be your experiences to feel. But just listen to your mum and don’t ever give anybody photos of you that you wouldn’t want everyone seeing and don’t discuss your private life where it can be shared without your permission. School boys are not mature enough to deal with that – no matter what they say.

Once a photo is out there, you have lost control of it. It will be out there forever in someone’s phone, memory stick or the internet. It could come out again when you least expect it. You have high aspirations, you want to be successful and you are working so hard at school to achieve your dreams I don’t want that to be jeopardised, do you want a photo resurfacing when you are at the top of your chosen career or when you are a mum yourself?

Like I said sweetheart, make mistakes, your dad and me will cover your back, we will always be there for you but on this occasion just listen to us.

Additional reporting by Olivia Sorrel-Dejerine