A lesson in self-confidence [The Courier-News, by Janelle Walker, 8/12/2010]

CARPENTERSVILLE — Bullies, according to one fifth-grader at Lakewood Elementary School, are people who don’t feel good about themselves, so they pick on other people.

Martial arts, such as those demonstrated to the school’s physical education classes this week, can help those bullies find self-confidence and self-control so they don’t feel the need to pick on others.

And for children who are bullied, martial arts can give them the confidence to stand up for themselves, look the bully in the eye, and tell them to stop, said Rick Steinmaier, whose Kim’s Black Belt Academy conducted the demonstrations.

Steinmaier reached out to several area schools this summer, offering to come in and teach children martial arts basics. Leann Granell, one of the physical education teachers at Lakewood, took him up on that offer.

She was particularly interested in focusing on bullying, an issue that has come into the forefront following the suicides of students around the country this year. Many of those students were reported to be victims of bullying.

Research shows that students who are bullied are far more likely to be suicidal, Steinmaier said. Boys who are bullied are five times more likely to take their own lives, and girls eight times more likely, he said.

The data on bullies themselves also are troubling, Steinmaier said. Statistics show that 60 percent of boys who are identified as bullies in school end up being convicted of crimes by the time they are 24 years old, he said.

Standing up to bullies

While the best way to stop bullying behavior is to tell an adult, Steinmaier said, it also works to stand up for oneself.

“Sometimes, all it takes is to look them in the eye and say, ‘You are bothering me. Stop it,’ ” Steinmaier said. “We are afraid to look someone in the eye, because it intimidates us. Once you have said that … odds are it will stop.”

Martial arts are not about violence and beating up bullies or the weak, Steinmaier said.

“We are talking about self-defense,” he said. “What we learn at the academy is not to be taken outside the academy.”

For students who are not involved in other sports, art or music, martial arts can be the niche that helps them find self-confidence, Granell added.

During Wednesday’s classes, just 35 minutes each, Steinmaier ran the students through basics such as what he calls the “big dog drill.” As if a big dog was chasing them, students ran in place, leaned forward to run uphill, back to go downhill, ducked like under a tree branch, jumped like leaping a fence, and side-stepped — like dodging an Illinois pothole.

Kicks, punches and barrel rolls completed the quick lesson.

“It is a little taste of what martial arts are like,” Granell said. Some students really got into it; others were less interested, she added.

Stress reliever

For those who are interested, Steinmaier offered a two-month scholarship to the Elgin-based Kim’s Black Belt Academy. Students were asked to write an essay talking about bullying — what it feels like to be bullied, how to stop it, or what to do when they witness it. The teachers will review those essays, and one student from each class, up to 11, will be offered the scholarship if their parents agree. The winning students will be honored in an all-school assembly prior to their winter break.

Lorimer Artaga, 12, of Carpentersville, said he planned to complete the essay and hoped he would get to use the scholarship. He’s been bullied, Artaga said, and admitted he has bullied himself.

“I got mostly experience about how to posture” during the class, he said. It also showed him there are other ways to get one’s anger out other than lashing out at others. “You can go there to get your stress out.”

The class also showed the sixth-grader that he does have power. “I felt my capacity of my strength. It could be something I could do in the future. It was like nothing else I have ever done,” Artaga said.

Kids who get into martial arts because of the one-class session could find themselves with an activity they enjoy for the rest of their lives, Granell added.

“They were exposed to an activity that many of them don’t get a chance to see,” she said. “It exposes kids to an opportunity and something they could do one a daily basis.”

Anti-bullying campaigners in Wales join online ‘march’ [BBC News Wales, 15/11/2010]

Anti-bullying campaigners in Wales are joining a “virtual march” to mark the start of a week highlighting the issue.

The Big March will visit 60 websites such as such as Action for Children, War Child and Girlguiding UK to call for more support for bullying victims.

Campaigner Gemma Lang, who set up an advice site as a teenager, said digital technology allowed “24/7” bullying.

In Conwy, school pupils are being asked to write poems and songs to promote respect and friendship.

Ms Lang, from Caerphilly, who was bullied at school, has relaunched her Full stop 2 bullying website after a bout of ill-health, and said young victims of bullying no longer had the chance to escape it after school.

She said: “The big thing I am seeing now is the bullying online at home and the hate pages being set up. That’s quite an issue.

“I’ve had some people who were being bullied in their school and those people are then going home and seeing [social network] hate pages against them. It was a further extension of the bullying.

“The internet now just seems to have given a platform for bullies to show off what they are doing.

“Bullying now is 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It’s quite worrying really.”

One of those embarking the “virtual march” across around 50 websites, calling for help to combat bullying, is martial arts expert Simon Morrell.

He has 30 years’ experience in the martial arts but this year published a book, from Bullied to Black Belt, describing his experiences.

‘Change behaviour’

He said: “I’m supporting the Big March because I believe it’s an innovative and dynamic way to engage young people in preventing bullying, providing support and ensuring more is done to shape attitudes and change behaviour.”

An anti-bullying conference was recently held in Conwy for staff, pupils and governors from all schools.

Head of education services Geraint James said: “To tackle bullying effectively we need to work on a variety of levels.

“All our schools have anti-bullying policies, but to be really effective we need to harness the support of the whole school community including the pupils themselves.

“It is very encouraging to see so many of our schools taking this opportunity to work with pupils to promote respectful and positive relationships and to develop awareness of how we can tackle bullying together.”

Anti-Bullying Week, from 15-19 November, is run by the Anti-Bullying Alliance (ABA), a network of more than 70 organisations.

Efforts to help combat bullying [IrishExaminer.com, by Sean O’Riordan, 26/10/10]

AN escalation of child bullying, including cyber-bullying, has prompted the Social and Health Education Project (SHEP) in Cork to organise a course for parents.

The long-established Cork-based training organisation is offering an evening course to support parents and help them to help their children.

According to SHEP the escalation of bullying in both primary and secondary schools in recent years is compounded by the onset of cyber-bullying.

Statistics show that one in five second-year girls has been cyberbullied, and one in four has received threatening phone calls.

Although a recent EU survey found that in Ireland the percentage of children who had experienced cyber-bullying was amongst the lowest of the 23 countries polled, at 4%, the anecdotal evidence presents a very real concern to parents.

Kerri FitzGerald, training and development worker with SHEP, said the organisation runs courses for parents on a number of different issues.

“So we are well-placed to work with them on the issue of bullying. Discovering they are not alone with their problems and the power of working in a small group can bring great strength to people,” Ms FitzGerald said.

Bullying can have serious long-term effects both for those who are victims of bullying and for those who behave in a bullying manner.

SHEP’s course for parents is designed to help them become more aware of the issues involved in bullying, and more able to offer helpful support to their children. It also gives them the chance to explore what they can do to help lessen bullying in their community.

Any parents who would like to hear more about the course, which starts in early November, can contact The Social and Health Education Project on (021) 4666180.

 

Obama, Hillary Clinton Speak Out Against Anti-Gay Bullying [VOA News.Com by Steve Ember, 22/10/10]

President Obama speaks in support of the It Gets Better Project
President Obama speaks in support of the It Gets Better Project

President Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton each released video messages this week on the problem of bullying. Both messages centered on abusive behavior toward homosexuals.

BARACK OBAMA: “Like all of you, I was shocked and saddened by the deaths of several young people who were bullied and taunted for being gay, and who ultimately took their own lives.  As a parent of two daughters, it breaks my heart.  It’s something that just shouldn’t happen in this country. We’ve got to dispel the myth that bullying is just a normal rite of passage — that it’s some inevitable part of growing up. It’s not.”

One recent victim was an eighteen-year old student at Rutgers University in New Jersey. Tyler Clementi was a first-year student and a promising musician. In late September he jumped to his death from a bridge over the Hudson River between New Jersey and New York. Three days earlier, his roommate had secretly used a webcam to broadcast live images of him in a sexual encounter with another man.

 

A candlelight vigil in New Brunswick, New Jersey, to remember Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi, who killed himself
A candlelight vigil in New Brunswick, New Jersey, to remember Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi, who killed himself

Law enforcement officials have charged the roommate and another student with invasion of privacy.

Last month, writer Dan Savage started the It Gets Better Project. The purpose is to help LGBT — lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender — young people. President Obama recorded his message to show support for that project.

BARACK OBAMA: “I don’t know what it’s like to be picked on for being gay. But I do know what it’s like to grow up feeling that sometimes you don’t belong. It’s tough. And for a lot of kids, the sense of being alone or apart — I know can just wear on you. And when you’re teased or bullied, it can seem like somehow you brought it on yourself — for being different, or for not fitting in with everybody else. But what I want to say is this. You are not alone.”

Secretary Clinton released her message earlier in the week.

HILLARY CLINTON: “Like millions of Americans, I was terribly saddened to learn of the recent suicides of several teenagers across our country after being bullied because they were gay or because people thought they were gay. Children are particularly vulnerable to the hurt caused by discrimination and prejudice and we have lost many young people over the years to suicide. These most recent deaths are a reminder that all Americans have to work harder to overcome bigotry and hatred.”

 

Hillary Clinton's video message
Hillary Clinton’s video message

She said opportunities will only increase:

HILLARY CLINTON: “Just think of the progress made by women just during my lifetime by women, or ethnic, racial and religious minorities over the course of our history — and by gays and lesbians, many of whom are now free to live their lives openly and proudly.”

The videos come as the government and the courts try to settle the future of the military policy known as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Under federal law, gays and lesbians can serve, but not openly. No one may ask about a person’s sexual orientation. But service members can be discharged if they are found to be homosexual.

Congress and President Bill Clinton approved the law in nineteen ninety-three as a compromise. Now a federal judge in California has ruled it unconstitutional.

Last week she ordered a halt to all dismissals of gay service members. But on Wednesday an appeals court let the administration temporarily continue the policy.

President Obama says he wants to end the policy, but he wants Congress and not the courts to do it.

In July, the Defense Department e-mailed a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” opinion survey to four hundred thousand service members. Defense Secretary Robert Gates expects the results by December first.

New data on bullying: 17% report regular abuse [The Washington Post, by Valerie Strauss, 20/10/2010]

New data on bullying released today show that 17 percent of American students report being bullied two to three times a month or more within a school semester, with girls and boys having similar rates.

The information was gleaned from an anonymous survey of 524,054 U.S. students in grades 3 through 12, and it comes when bullying is in the news because of a series of suicides by young gays who had been bullied.

The survey was conducted by Dan Olweus (pronounced Ol-VEY-us), who is considered the founding father of research on bully/victim issues. It is being released by the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program.

The program for elementary, junior high and middle schools that he created is aimed at preventing and/or reducing bullying and is designed to improve peer relations and make schools safer places. (You can find reports analyzing different bullying programs here.)

Researchers say that the approach, which involves every adult and student in the class and helps teach students how to safely not be bystanders when bullying occurs, has been shown to have the strongest and most long-lasting improvements.

The co-author of the analysis is Susan P. Limber. Here is some of the information released today:

Being bullied

  • 17 percent of students indicated that they had been bullied with some frequency (two to three times per month or more within the school semester).
  • There were similar rates for girls (16 percent) and boys (17 percent).
  • Bullying is most prevelant in third grade, when almost 25 percent of students reported being bullied two, three or more times a month. The rate slowly declines each year through 12th grade, when about 12 percent of boys and less than 10 percent of girls reported being bullied.Bullying others
  • 10 percent of students indicated they had bullied others with some frequency (two to three times per month or more within the semester).
  • Boys (12 percent) were more likely than girls (7 percent) to indicate they had bullied others.How long has the bullying lasted?
  • For students who have been bullied, significant numbers reported being bullied for long periods:
  • 16 percent of girls boys reported having been bullied for about a year.
  • 23 percent of girls and 30 percent of boys said they had been bullied for several years.
  • Bystander behavior
  • When asked what they feel when they see a student their age being bullied, the vast majority of students (83 percent) indicated that they feel sorry for the bullied student (90 percent of girls, 75 percent of boys).
  • Students were asked, “How do you usually react if you see or learn that a student your age is being bullied?” and had the following responses:

    I have never noticed that students my age have been bullied.
    Girls: 24 percent. Boys: 30 percent.

    I take part in the bullying.
    Girls: 1 percent. Boys: 3 percent.

    I don’t do anything but think it is OK.
    Girls: 1 percent. Boys: 2 percent.

    I just watch what goes on.
    Girls: 9 percent. Boys: 14 percent.

    I don’t do anything, but I think I ought to help the bullied students.
    Girls: 30 percent. Boys: 22 percent.

    I try to help the bullied student.
    Girls: 35 percent. Boys: 29 percent.

    More than 40 states have some sort of law that makes bullying illegal, yet, as the statistics show, the harassment of young kids by their classmates remains common.

    Clearly laws alone can’t get the job done. Parents have to be involved, and so do schools.

    A school-wide assembly to discuss bullying won’t work. Schools that are serious about reducing bullying implement programs that involve every adult in the school, from the principal to the janitors, and spend time once a week engaging students in discussion and activities to understand the problem and learn how to deal with it.

    This is not a topic that we hear our education leaders talk about very much, except when someone dies.

    If we want kids to feel safe enough in schools to do well academically, bullying is a topic that should no longer be ignored.