bullying - - Page 8

Bullying Impacts Us All [ wentzvillepatch, by Joe Smith, 22/4/2011].

I still remember the fear I felt. I remember my heart rate rising as the adrenaline pumped through my veins. I can still hear his laugh as he choked me with my own hoodie (not to the point of not breathing- just enough to humiliate me). I remember the look of the other guys at my lunch table. Everyone one of them had found something really interesting on their lunch trays because they couldn’t take their eyes off of whatever is it was.

I couldn’t blame them. This guy was much bigger and much meaner than any of us.

This boy was constant. My entire sixth grade year was ruined because this kid wouldn’t let up. No matter what I did, he never stopped.

I still remember the shame I felt. I can still feel my checks burning as wave after wave of embarrassment slammed into me. I remember standing in the gym, in line at lunch, and in the hallways as kids made fun of what I was wearing.

You see, my dad’s roofing business closed just before I went into middle school. As he waited for other job opportunities; money was tight. There wasn’t much for clothing and none for name brand shoes. I wore whatever shoes we could afford.

I’m not complaining. I was well taken care of. I never needed for anything. But kids can be cruel. So when they saw some letters and numbers on my shoes that weren’t like the other kids, they came on like vultures.

I can recall talking with one young woman; we’ll call her Sally. I had another student come to me with a rumor about Sally. I knew Sally and her family well, and knew this rumor to be completely untrue. I also knew that if Sally heard it at school- it would devastate her. I quickly said a prayer as I dialed her number.

Sally answered the phone and I began to let her know what I had heard. I tried to reassure her that I knew it to be untrue and that everyone else would as well. She said that she would take care of it and thanks for calling. I immediately contacted her parents as well.

After an hour or so, I went to see Sally and her family. I could tell that she had been crying and crying hard. No words of comfort could help. She was destroyed. This rumor attacked who she was, it attacked all she tried to be.

I remember one young man; we’ll call him Johnny. Johnny was a young man with the sweetest disposition who happened to have a mental handicap. He was loving and very kind and never judged people by what they looked like or what they wore. All of which are truly strengths but never fail to be recognized as weaknesses.

Certain kids in his class saw them as a weakness and pounced. He was in math class. He was standing next to his desk; humming a tune to himself. The next moment he was writhing on the floor howling in pain. One of the bullies in his class had walked up and punched him with everything he had. Johnny didn’t stand a chance. He crumpled to the floor and rolled around for several moments before other students helped him up.

I’ll never forget the sound of his cry.

I remember my little brother in sixth grade. He rode the bus home every day. There was an eighth grade boy we’ll call him Homer (yes I’m poking fun). Homer decided that one day he was going to start calling my brother “Elliot” from E.T. My brother looks nothing like this character, so at first he just ignored it. But every day; there was Homer, ready to start chanting “Elliot! Elliot! Elliot!” For weeks this taunting continued until my brother finally came to us.

I was in high school at the time and I knew Homer. So I rode the bus for days waiting to have a talk with him. After our talk (and yes, that’s all it was) he never said another word to my brother.

This past week two girls in Minnesota committed suicide by hanging themselves, because they felt like outcasts in their middle school. They were bullied. One of the girls even left a note detailing her funeral.

Do you need more examples? This week was the 12th anniversary of the Columbine High School shooting in Colorado.

Another — Two weeks ago a Winfield teenager was arrested for plotting another Columbine “attack” on his school.

Need more? Turn on this evening’s local or national news.

According to education.com, 160,000 students miss school every day for fear of being bullied. Fifty suicides a year are linked to prolonged bullying and approximately 85 percent of all school shootings have revenge against bullies as a major motive.

It doesn’t have to be this way. We can do something about it. But it starts with us; the parents. If we aren’t shepherding our children then someone will. And the people they become will be out of our control.

So I asked parents what their greatest fear was when it came to bullying. The answer varied slightly, but it boiled down to two basic fears:

That my son/daughter is being bullied. They don’t talk to me about it and something bad happens.
That my son/daughter is the bully.

So as parents what do we do to ensure that our children communicate with us and/or that they don’t become the bully? Well, seeing how this issue isn’t new to this generation I have been afforded the opportunity to work with some amazing parents over the last decade. They have taught my wife and I some awesome tips on this very topic and I would like to share those with you.

Let’s address the fear of our students being bullied first. Here is what my wife and I have learned:

Communicate. Create an environment at home where honest communication can take place. Whether it be the dinner table, the living room or in the car, there should be someplace and time where your student feels free to discuss what matters most in their lives without the fear of being lectured or judged. Students are learning as they go and need a place to openly discuss what’s happening. It may take you asking open ended questions. It’s not a quick process. It’s going to take time to build that relationship, so the earlier you start, the better! If you build that bridge before something happens, they will most likely involve you after something happens.
Love, love, love! Never let your child doubt your love and devotion to them. They need be aware of the fact that they can never lose that love and acceptance from you. You are their shepherds- guiding, protecting, and leading them to adulthood. No matter what a student says to their parent, they need and crave that love from them.
Allow them to participate in the solution. So often, our first reaction is to take care of the problem. But that can complicate the issue. Part of adolescence is learning to deal with aggressive and confrontational people. If at all possible, partner with your child to just that. If they aren’t in physical or emotional danger; allow them to handle it with your supervision. Give them the tools to handle situations and then let them do that.
Be the bad guy. There are times when no matter what you do, your child can’t handle what’s taking place. It’s time for you to handle the situation. Sometimes doing the right thing will make your son or daughter not like you very much. We parents can’t be concerned with our children liking us or not. Sometimes we have to take care of them, even if they don’t understand that right now. Be loving, but be ready to wear the black hat.

As a middle school student who was bullied, my home was a safe haven. It was an oasis. On days where I was really picked on, I looked forward to walking in my front door and being greeted by my parents, my brother, my dog and ready to play with my neighborhood friends. I can remember sitting in my room talking with my parents about what was happening and the support that I got. I never felt pressured or threatened to tell or act a certain way. I just knew that no matter what happened anywhere else, that I was loved at home. Honestly, it made all the difference.

But how do we help our children see what bullying can do to others? How do we instill the values in our kids that will guide them to respect others? Here are a few suggestions to help you along the way:

Empathy. The ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. The ability to take yourself out of your situation and relate to a person in a different situation. If we put our children in a postion to learn empathy, it will be much more difficult for them to bully other kids. Do this by putting them in a place of service. Feed the homeless, ring a bell, collect food goods, mow a yard — whatever it is they will see that people are just people; that their station in life doesn’t determine their worth. Empathy teaches that we don’t ridicule based on poverty, race, creed, religion or sexual orientation. Empathy teaches our students a better way.
Model it! If you are modeling confrontational behavior (think about how you act when driving) then most likely your children will mimic that behavior. On the other hand, chances are that your children won’t be aggressive if you model servant leadership and kindness. If you teach them about putting others first, and more importantly if you live it; they will too. It all boils down to monkey see, monkey do.
Teach them what bullying is. Your kids may not understand what bullying truly is. Be honest and let them know what behavior is acceptable and what isn’t. Tell them where you stand and what your family’s values are on the subject. You would be surprised at how many students aren’t clear on what bullying is.
Be invested. Over the years I’ve heard teens talk about their friends’ parents who let them do anything they want. Most often these teens live troubled lives. Their parents either don’t care or don’t know how to show they care. Make sure you know what’s taking place in your students’ life. Make sure you know where they are going, who they’re with and what they’re doing. Your teens may not like you digging, but it shows them that you do care. And just between you and me; I’ve had more than one teen tell me that they want their parents to tell them no.

The point is, bullying isn’t about statistics. It is about people. Young people. People trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in this world. If we as friends, brothers, sisters, and parents don’t fight for these children; who will?

Teachers worried as girls go top of the class for cyber-bullying [The Independent, by Richard Garner, 18/4/2011]

Teachers will today call for an investigation into rising levels of poor behaviour among girls in the classroom.

The girls, they argue, are more likely to resort to cyber-bullying – the form of bullying utilising the internet and mobile phones that is worrying school leaders.

A survey by the Association of Teachers and Lecturers (ATL) reveals that half the teachers believed girls’ behaviour had got worse during the past two years. One in five thought it was now more challenging than boys.

Teachers interviewed for the survey accused girls of being “sneakier” than boys in the way they misbehaved.

They were also more adept at using modern social media such as Facebook to bully their fellow pupils.

The survey of 859 teachers in both primary and secondary schools and further education colleges said girls’ misbehaviour centred around isolating fellow pupils from a friendship group, spreading rumours and making snide comments.

“Girls spread rumours and fallouts last a long time,” a 34-year-old teacher from Reading told researchers. “Boys tend to sort it out fairly quickly.”

Another teacher drew attention to a rise in the use of social media to bully pupils. “There is a lot of cyber bullying particularly via MSN and Facebook – this is mainly girls,” said the teacher, who is a member of the senior management team of an English secondary school.

The finding follows a one-day strike by teachers at a high school in Lancashire – Darwen High School – earlier this month over pupil behaviour.

Teachers complained that pupils were making videos and taking photographs in class with their smartphones and then posting them on websites such as YouTube.

The teachers were particularly unhappy that senior management did not back them up when they confiscated pupils’ phones.

Today’s motion at the ATL conference calls for more support for teachers in instilling discipline.

One teacher from Weston-super-Mare told researchers that girls were also becoming more violent. “Girls are definitely getting more violent with gangs of girls in school who are getting worse than gangs of boys,”she said.

However, a primary school teacher from Bedfordshire added: “Boys are generally more physical and their behaviour is more noticeable.

“Girls are often sneakier about misbehaving, they often say nasty things which end up disrupting the lesson just as much as the boys as other children get upset and can’t focus on their work.”

The teacher added. “They [the girls] are usually the ones who refuse to comply with instructions.”

The feeling was, though – despite rising levels of aggressive behaviour among girls – that boys were still more likely to show physical aggression. “Staff get ground down daily by the chatting and messing around, which disrupts lessons for other pupils and takes the pleasure out of teaching,” said Mary Bousted, general secretary of ATL.

“Even more worrying is the physical aggression – most often among boys but also among some girls – which puts other pupils and staff at risk.”

The union’s annual conference in Liverpool will today hear calls to carry out an investigation into the number of girls being excluded from school. Delegates will be told it is an increasing problem.

Suspect in stabbing of school resource officer says he was bullied repeatedly [ abcactionnews.com, by Bill Logan, 10/4/2011]

PALM HARBOR, Fla. – Things are slowly returning to normal at Carwise Middle School.

Authorities say a 13-year-old boy stabbed the Resource Officer there on Wednesday.

Officer Kenneth Fridlund caught the teen in the bathroom with 11 glass bottles full of gasoline. When questioned, the boy stabbed the officer in the stomach without warning.

Students arriving on campus had much to say on Thursday. Some say they wish they didn’t have to come back today, while others said it’s important to get back to normal.

There is more about the young man in question who brought the gas-filled bottles to school along with the the knife. He has been identified and some information was available from inside sources, including some teachers, who said he wasn’t a bad kid but that he did suffer some taunts and some bullying.

For now, ABC Action News is not naming him because he is a minor and no charges have been filed yet.

It was back to school as normal as possible for the students, teachers and the resource officers.

A day after a student brought a duffel bag with the bottles full of gasoline and stabbed the resource officer, everybody was abuzz about the incident.

“I guess it leads from bullying,” said student Loren Jackson. “And this is probably his way of taking it out.”

Students said the seventh grader, who would wear his boy scout uniform to school, was occasionally picked on.

“I guess they would just, like, bully him because he was wearing the outfit to school and stuff,” said Nicole Carver.

“I guess he tried to threaten to burn down the school, trying to scare the students. ” said Jackson.

He scared parents who said they were fearful that the incident had been brewing for awhile.

“It’s just sad,” said Kimberly Frazier, right after she dropped her son off for school. “Something’s not right in that child’s life.”

Sad, too, that a resource officer required emergency surgery to repair a stab wound and a day of learning was lost to yesterday’s lockdown.

The teen suspect continues to be evaluated mentally.

Authorities say the process could take up to 72 hours and it won’t be until after that before criminal charges are contemplated.

Gay, lesbian, bisexual students win strong allies in battle against bullying. [ miamiherald.com, by Rob Hotakainen, 8/4/2011].

6a00d83451b26169e2014e607c2b2e970c WASHINGTON — After a rash of suicides linked to bullying in public schools, gay and lesbian students are punching back as never before. Armed with lawsuits and legislation, they’re finding powerful allies as they demand an end to the harassment.

In the White House, they’ve won backing from President Barack Obama, and on Capitol Hill, they have support from at least 23 Democratic senators who are promoting anti-bullying legislation.

Perhaps most importantly, they’ve found help from the U.S. Department of Education, which now regards school bullying as a civil rights issue. As a result, schools have been warned that if they don’t take bullying seriously and work harder to protect students, they could lose their federal aid and face prosecution.

All this is good news for Maggie Davidson, a 15-year-old bisexual freshman at Redmond (Wash.) Junior High School who came to Washington last week to lobby members of Congress to crack down on bullying.

“It’s really amazing to see how a group of people who have been so oppressed for so many years is finally taking a stand for themselves,” she said.

Maggie was one of 40 participants from 29 states who went door-to-door on Capitol Hill last week, sharing their personal stories with members of Congress and staffers. It was her first time in Washington.

“It was definitely intimidating, but it was empowering at the same time,” she said. “This is important to me because I think that schools should be a place where all kids feel safe. The number one priority of a school should be to provide kids with an education, and nothing should get in the way of that.”

Many school officials, however, fear that it will be much easier to sue them after the Department of Education told them last fall that they’re required under civil rights laws to prevent harassment based on sexual orientation and gender identity.

It’s causing something of a backlash.

The bullying issue “has become the most politicized it has ever become in history,” said Ken Trump, the president of Cleveland-based National School Safety and Security Services, a consulting firm. He called it “the political prostitution of school safety,” aimed at trying to get protections for sexual orientation and gender identification written into federal law, something that gay-rights backers have been unable to do in Congress.

“This is a back-door attempt to create a protected class,” Trump said.

Other critics regard the growing anti-bullying campaigns as an attempt to silence opponents.

“There is a real danger that anti-bullying policies will be used to curtail any speech in schools critical of homosexuality,” said Peter LaBarbera, the president of a group called Americans For Truth About Homosexuality, which opposes gay rights.

He said schools must protect all children, “including those confused about their sexual or gender identity.” But he added: “They must never use bullying prevention to engage in one-sided advocacy about homosexuality, thereby discriminating against Christian, Jewish and Muslim students who believe homosexual practice is wrong.”

Nearly 90 percent of middle and high school gay and lesbian students have experienced harassment, and nearly two-thirds of them have felt unsafe at school because of their sexual orientation, according to a survey by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, an advocacy group.

One of them, Russell Dickerson III, took his case to a federal court in Tacoma, Wash., aided by the American Civil Liberties Union. He’s suing the Aberdeen, Wash., school district, charging that it did nothing to stop years of harassment, which left him with post-traumatic stress disorder and high blood pressure at age 14.

Dickerson, who’s now 20, said he was called a “faggot,” that he found notes in his locker with vicious insults and that students tripped him in the cafeteria and threw food at him. In one incident, he said, three students pushed him to the floor and smashed a raw egg on his head. Only one of the three students was disciplined.

Last September, the Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender civil rights organization, reacted to a string of suicides by calling on the Obama administration to speak out and to push all schools to implement anti-bullying policies.

The suicides included a 13-year-old California boy who hanged himself from a tree outside his home after months of bullying. A 15-year-old Indiana youth hanged himself after being called a “fag” over and over again, and a Rutgers University freshman jumped off a bridge after his roommate secretly made a webcast of him being amorous with another male student.

The bullying issue has been a hot one in statehouses, with 11 states already passing anti-bullying laws based on sexual orientation and gender identity: Arkansas, California, Illinois, Iowa, Maryland, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Oregon, Vermont and Washington.

Last month, Obama hosted the first-ever White House conference on bullying prevention, inviting participants from across the nation.

“If there’s one goal of this conference, it’s to dispel the myth that bullying is just a harmless rite of passage or an inevitable part of growing up,” Obama said. “It’s not.”

Maggie said she was feeling optimistic these days, particularly with the president taking up her cause.

“He’s the power over everyone in the country, and he obviously has a lot of say in what goes on,” she said. “So if he stands for something, then it’s likely a lot of other people will follow in his footsteps.”

Connecticut Girl Allegedly Bullied by Classmates Posts Plight on YouTube [ foxnews.com, 30/3/2011]

Alye Pollack, seen here in a homemade video posted to YouTube March 14, describes the alleged bullying suffered at Bedford Middle School in Westport, Conn. (YouTube).

A 13-year-old girl apparently bullied by her peers has taken her plight to YouTube, posting a haunting video that describes the alleged torment suffered at a top Connecticut middle school.

Alye Pollack, an eighth-grader at Bedford Middle School in Westport, Conn., uploaded the video, titled “Words are worse than Sticks and Stones,” on March 14. As of Wednesday morning, the three-minute clip had more than 30,100 views.

Pollack, who does not speak in the homemade video, is seen holding up signs recounting the alleged bullying endured at the hands of her classmates.

“I am bullied. Not a day has gone by without one of these words — ‘bitch,’ ‘whore,’ ‘fat, ‘lesbo,’ ‘slut,’ ‘freak,’ ugly,’ ‘weird,’ fag,” the signs read.

“I don’t cut but I’m close,” Pollack writes. “I’m in therapy/guidance more than my classes.”

“Think before you say things. It might save lives,” reads another sign.

After the video was posted, the school principal wrote in a letter to parents that he was investigating a case of cyber bullying, MyFoxNY.com reports.

The superintendent has declined comment on Pollack’s case, specifically, citing privacy reasons, according to the station.

“We’ve been very rigid about being intolerant about bullying,” Dr. Elliott Landon told the Westport News. “If there’s any sign that a kid’s in trouble, we act on that immediately.”

Click here to read more on the alleged bullying case at Bedford Middle School from MyFoxNY.com

Click here to see Alye Pollack’s video on YouTube

“In A Better World” – Director Explores Bullying In Oscar Winner. [ neontommy.com, by Christina Rath & Sue Anna Yeh, 30/3/2011].

Danish director Susanne Bier added Oscar winner to her resume in late February when “In a Better World” won Best Foreign Film just as it had at the Golden Globes.

The film won’t be opening in the US until April 1st, but it could not come at a more appropriate time given its subject matter.

The film follows the struggles of 10 year old Elias (Markus Rygaard) who is bullied constantly at his school.

Although the administration sees what is going on and his parents seek its help in putting an end to it, the teachers try to spin it by blaming Elias’ social struggles on the recent separation of his parents.

Elias’ father (Mikael Persbrandt) travels frequently to Africa where he works as a doctor in a refugee camp, leaving his son without the support he may need.

Luckily, for Elias, a new boy transfers to the school, Christian (William Johnk Nielson), who has recently moved to town following his mother’s death.

Christian stands up for Elias, but it isn’t until he threatens the bullies with a knife that they finally back off.

From there, Christian launches a plan to seek revenge on a man who had an altercation with Elias’ father. The film goes on to explore the ways in which people stand up for themselves and run society when authority figures can’t control what is going on.

The film escalates to some graphic and disturbing moments, but told through the eyes of the young boys it’s easy to see how people can be driven to snap back and stand up for themselves.

In the past few weeks the topic of bullying has been making headlines after a video surfaced of an Australian teen who is shown body slamming a bully who had provoked him moments earlier. While violent, many people are proclaiming the bullied teen who fought back to be a hero and within his rights to do so.

President Obama held a press conference on bullying earlier this month where he reacted to an 11 year old who hanged himself after being tormented at school. Obama said, “No family should have to go through what these families have gone through. No child should feel that alone.”

Susanne Bier paints a clear picture that transcends language and cultures to look at a reality so many children across the world are facing.

The young actors play their roles so genuinely, and the character of Christian in particular has such a mature yet volatile nature to him.

This well-made film is definitely Oscar worthy and something that Americans should see as it should spark some interesting and constructive discussions on bullying.

Cashless school dinners ‘reduce stigma around free meals’ [ squidcard.com, 22/3/2011].

School cashless catering schemes could help establishments in the crackdown against bullying, it has been suggested.

The Belfast Telegraph reports that more than 20,000 children in Northern Ireland are missing out on free school lunches because they are scared they will be teased by other kids.

However, an Audit Office report suggests cashless school dinner payment could be one way of overcoming this problem.

Furthermore, the news provider stated that the system has helped to reduce bullying because youngsters no longer have lunch money for others to steal.

The report said: “Cashless systems generally involve the use of electronic cards instead of meal tickets so that pupils in receipt of free school meals are treated in the same way as those paying for their meal.”

This comes after a document from The Senedd’s Children and Young People Committee also highlighted the fact many youngsters are too embarrassed to collect their free meals.

Chairwoman Helen Mary Jones said the Welsh government is being urged to consider a cashless system, the South Wales Argus reported.

Swindon teen acts as ‘cyber mentor’ to stop bullying [ BBC News, 25/2/2011]

A teenager from Swindon is on a mission to help fight cyber-bullying.

Carney Bonner, 17, from Redhouse is currently being trained as a “cyber mentor” for the charity Beatbullying.org.

His role will take the form of an online agony uncle to help youngsters who are being bullied via social networking sites such as Facebook.

Carney was once himself a victim of cyberbullying, and the experience led him to self-harm.

He said: “I kept getting messages on a social networking site and thought at first it was just a joke and I’d brush it off.

“But it carried on and it started affecting me. I started to self-harm and lost my self-confidence and my self-esteem.

“I went from someone who was quite loud and talkative, to someone who was quiet.”

Safety online

In January, Carney launched Swindon’s first ever Cyber Safety Week as part of his Keeping It Safe Online campaign for Channel 4’s Battlefront initiative.

Carney’s campaign saw him and his Keeping It Safe Online team of Swindon teenagers visit three schools to take over PHSE lessons to talk about the issues that young people face online every day.

The focus was particularly on cyberbullying and safety on social networking sites such as MSN, Facebook and Twitter.

As a result of his local campaign, Carney was chosen as Swindon’s first cyber mentor by the Beatbullying.org charity.

On Friday 25 February, Carney received training at Google headquarters in London.

“If a young person is being bullied online and needs help, then I’ll be that first point of contact,” Carney said.

“If a problem is just too extreme then we refer them to a counsellor.”

To find out more about the project, visit the Cyber Mentors website.

Opinion: What’s Up With All These Out-of-Control, Bullying Parents? [parentdish.com, by Mary Beth Sammons, 24/2/2011]

First there was the “hot sauce mom” who, screaming and berating her son for lying, forced him into a cold shower and shoved the burning liquid down his throat. Then there was the mom who, upset with her son’s poor grades, stuck the 15-year-old on a street corner with a chest-to-trunk poster board of his GPA dangling from his neck.

Now there’s the mom who splashed a photo of her sobbing kids holding a plastic bag of their favorite spinning top toys across eBay as punishment for the tops chipping her bathtub.

To quote Kenan Thompson on “Saturday Night Live,” “What up with that?”

Extreme discipline? Severe punishment? Maybe. But I think these public displays of parental power underscore a more serious phenomenon that is rearing its ugly face: The rise of narcissistic, bullying parents.

Here’s what the mom says on eBay, according to MSNBC.com: “We are selling 8 Beyblades, 2 of them light up. As you can tell, they are not happy about this! They have been using their bathtub as a “battle arena” and Beyblades + Bathtub = Destruction!!! With the metal ones they managed to scrape the enamel off the tub, take a chunk of tub out and break off the soap holder. SO if you “win” this auction DON’T play with in a bathtub!!! We have received a quote of $500.00 to replace the tub, some tiles, and soap holder + labor of course! They had approximately $125.67 in their piggy banks that will be going to toward the cost. We will use the profit from this auction towards the balance and then it is onto other toys!”

Gimme a break. Little boys and their toys in the bathtub is a crime? And, if the toys are scraping the enamel, then confiscate them and throw in a set of plastic duckies in the tub. But to pose your kids, have them hold up a baggie with their toys and take a mugshot while they are crying, then post it on eBay is nothing less than bullying. So suggests the National Center for Education Statistics definition, which it describes in a document. According to the document, the definition of bullying includes a variety of actions, including “being made fun of.” That’s exactly what this mom is doing in her words and actions.

I asked Susan Stiffelman, a licensed and practicing psychotherapist, and marriage and family therapist resident and ParentDish’s AdviceMama to weigh in.

“When a parent feels so out of control and desperate as to deliberately cause emotional and physical harm to their child, I call that child abuse,” says Stiffelman. “These stories underscore the truth that simply being biologically capable of parenting does not guarantee true readiness or capability to do the day-to-day job of raising children. When a parent feels so out of control that they are scrambling to find the loudest, most injurious way they can to ‘show a child who’s boss,’ they must stop, take a breath and call a child abuse hotline or trusted friend or family member.

She adds, “I don’t judge parents for falling apart; we all have different thresholds for stress and frustration. But being a parent means taking responsibility for the welfare of your children. If you cannot manage a child’s misbehavior in ways that do not harm them, get help.”

I’ve never understood the mentality of anyone who purposefully mocks or humiliates others, inflicting pain with their biting tongue and then sharing that ridicule publicly. But on your own kids?

We wonder why there are bullies on the playground or on the world of teen cyberspace. I wonder if the answer lies closer to home, in the bathrooms and on the computer screens of parents who might want to stop and take a good look at the Mean Girl or Mr. Big Man in the mirror.

Bullying: The Epidemic that is Damaging People for Life [ hsj.org, by Elizabeth Turner, 23/2/2011].

Bullying has had a dramatic effect on people across the United States. Bullying has lead to students and workers skipping and/or dropping out of school or work because they don’t feel safe. Students who drop out are more than likely to end up in jail instead of graduating and going to college to become doctors or lawyers or what they wanted to be before being bullied took over their lives. Workers who skip work can’t support their families or pay their bills. In extreme cases, bullying can lead to very severe psychological problems; possibly requiring hospitalization. Even more extreme cases can result in death by suicide because the person can’t handle the pain they’re being put through and feel at a complete loss, as if no one would miss them or people would be happier without them around.

Physical bullying is when physical contact or intimidation is enforced to make the victim do something they don’t want to do. Physical bullying may only show damage on the outside, but only the victim and the victim’s family knows it affects them mentally too. A 2010 case supports this. Adam Casey was bullied and he ended up going to the hospital with a broken nose, a broken eye socket, and requiring 13 stitches. Casey felt like a monster because of the way he looked after the incident. His mother told the press that he has become very angry because of the incident. Physical bullying can cause a lot of damage to the outside, but in cases like Adam Casey, it can cause even more damage mentally and emotionally.

Hazing is when the victim is embarrassed into doing something they don’t want to do. Seth Walsh was hazed. He was harassed into committing suicide. Students were taunting Walsh about being gay. He was humiliated by it and hung himself in his back yard. Hazing can be a group event. Twenty-six years ago, James Lenaghan was being initiated into an off-campus fraternity. In order to join he was forced to eat spaghetti, wash it down with wine, and throw it up so he could eat more. Lenaghan ended up dying of blood-alcohol poisoning. Hazing might not be considered bullying in all cases, but the results can still be disastrous.

It doesn’t matter if it is physical or emotional. Bullying is a problem. Adam Casey felt like a monster after being beaten up. James Lenaghan and Seth Walsh died. Bullying damages lives, some of which end in a blink of an eye.

Statistics show that one out of four kids are bullied almost every day. That’s around 25% of students being mentally, physically, and/or verbally abused. 14% of those bullied students have severe reactions to the bullying. Approximately one out of five kids will admit that they are bullies. 8% of students miss school to avoid bullies. Almost half of the people bullied fear further harassment in the bathroom. Roughly 280,000 students are attacked in middle school. Every seven minutes a student is bullied. 4% of adults will interfere, 11% of friends will interfere, BUT 85% of people will not interfere when they see someone getting bullied.

Every once in a while a lucky person will stand up for himself (or herself) doesn’t end up like the examples we read about in newspapers or hear about on the news. Not everyone is brave enough to stand up to their bully. Home should be the safest place for a person to be. School or work should be second. No person should have their safe havens taken away from them to the point that they feel like they shouldn’t exist.

Bullying, Cyber Bullying & Digital Safety Workshops For Primary & Secondary Schools

Tag: bullying